I am acutely aware of my insufficiency. Sometimes it shouts at me like a blaring horn.
This morning I sat down with my cup of coffee and put my Bible in my lap. As my mind went to a situation I am up against I whispered out to God, “I can’t do this.” Then I proceded to really look at my Bible for a second and the cover of it spoke back to me.
I could almost hear God saying “Oh yes you can. “.
When I first became aware of Philippians 4:13, I was in High School. For some reason it just seemed like it referred to doing some impossible physical feat in my mind. Like running a race, bench pressing a new weight record, or scoring the winning goal in a game. I didn’t really think of the context of the verse until later in life. Right before Paul wrote those famous words of being able to do all things through Christ, who gives him strength, he was talking about contentment in all circumstances. He talks about being in need and having plenty. He talks about being fed or hungry. He could handle it all “through Christ who gives me strength.” He was not talking about some extra, frivolous achievement that would be gratifying to accomplish. He was talking about contentment in the daily struggle of life, Peace in the ups and downs, walking through hard times with the knowledge that God really doesn’t leave us alone.
There’s a song by Elevation Worship that I contemplate frequently. It’s called “Here Again”. The lyrics that always speak to me are
“I‘m not enough unless You come
Will You meet me here again
‘Cause all I want is all You are
Will You meet me here again?”
Sometimes when I look at the giants ahead of me in my path, I identify myself as “Not Enough”. The giants are bigger than me. The giants are stronger. The giants are intimidating. I am not enough. But the truth is my insufficiencies, my imperfections, my lack are exactly where God meets me. I may be afraid of what is to come, but I can be assured that I am never left alone in it. God always meets me there. In fact if I really opened my eyes I would see He really wasn’t meeting me there. He hadn’t ever left. He was always there, when I felt Him in the times of peace and joy, and when I couldn’t feel Him in the times of trial.
As the song says,
“Not for a minute
Was I forsaken
The Lord is in this place”
It’s ok to take my Identity of “Not enough” to Him. Because He is the God who makes all things new. My “Not Enough” becomes “More than Enough” when I see that God is with me no matter how the path I’m on seems. He doesn’t look at it and say, “This place is too hard for me to walk with you.” Not for one minute does He forsake me. He’s always in this place, whatever it may be.