In 14 days, my husband and I will be doing this “Marriage” thing for 28 years. January 2nd, 1993, the day it all started. After 28 years, it occurs to me on occasion that we tend to act more and more like a little old couple. Bickering back and forth… especially when we drive somewhere together. It’s kind of a cross between a long played game of verbal sparring and an artful dance of our wits.
I was thinking about all this on my brisk winter walk this afternoon around our property. It’s been an emotionally stressful week for the both of us. As I’ve mentioned before in my blog this was the week my husband got a cardiac ablation done at a specialty hospital in the city. This required a two hour trip there and then back, overnight for him in the hospital and me in a hotel by myself. The whole event was a combination of things I would rather not do or have either of us experience: Including me dropping him off at the surgery center, kissing him goodbye, and driving away back to the hotel to sit and wait for word on how everything went. Five hours by myself… me and my thoughts.
I picked up some Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, water, and a soda at a close by convenience store and some breakfast at the hotel. Then I went to my room to wait, think, and pray. I had left my Bible at home since I use the YouVersion app on my phone. But I thought about how nice it would be to have a hard copy to hold “with” me at that moment. Thanks to the Gideon’s there was just that. It may be KJV, but at least it was a Bible. I flipped it to Psalms read some verses and remembered a time almost 17 years ago I dug out a Gideon’s Bible at my hospital room when my son was born. He ended up in the NICU and I needed to be “with” God that moment. Because I felt so very much alone at that time. There’s something about being “with”.
I was more than ready to head back to the hospital that afternoon when the nursing staff called me and told me I could come and be “with” my husband. I cannot describe how good it felt to roll the hospital’s recliner next to his bed and sit within a couple of feet of him and to put my hand on his. It reminded me of our wedding day right after the ceremony. I had ahold of his hand, and for some reason I did not want to let go or get more than a few feet away from him. I was “with” him and it felt so good.
The past few years have taught me a lot about being “with” him. I’ve not always appreciated it as much as I do today. We’ve had our good times and our bad times just like any long term marriage does. There have been times I couldn’t stand to be “with” him and truth be told he’s probably felt that way about me as well, but making it through the hard times has made being “with” him all the more sweet.
The power of being “with”… God knew all about that power thousands of years ago. One of the first things God said after He created the world was “It is not good for man to be alone”. He knew Adam needed to be “with” someone, God made Eve. Then Enter our sin… separating us from God, and then the Promise of Jesus, Emmanuel- God “with” us. The truth of the matter is although I sat alone in a hotel, I was not alone. The Season we are currently celebrating commemorates Jesus being born to make that a reality to the world. We don’t have to be alone. God wanted to be “with” us even when we, in our selfishness, did not want to be “with” Him. Because God loved us and still does and He knows how good it is for us to be “with”.
It has occurred to me that the past few days God “with” me was really orchestrating things for my good as He went along with me. Everything from the location of the hotel, the room I ended up with, the parking spot at the hospital, getting in a door I didn’t know I normally would not get into. He knew my fears and anxieties of being alone in an unfamiliar territory, and He let me know in little details all around me that He was “with” me.
When I arrived at the hospital and went to the room Rich was to be transferred to, I was alone again… But God took another opportunity to show me just how “with” me He is. I looked up on the wall of the Catholic hospital’s room. There was a crucifix and a plaque with these words. “Fear not, for I am with you… Isaiah 41:10” Indeed God is. The promise of Christmas has been fulfilled. Emmanuel, God “with” us. He does not leave us alone. Because His love shows to us the power of Him, God, being “with”.