Category Archives: life

The Crescendo of Time

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I spend a lot of my time thinking about me. I imagine most people do: What will I do today? What will I eat? How will this life event affect me? How can I make the best possible outcome for me?

Even my pondering on God goes back to me: Does God hear me? Does God see what’s going on around me? What does God want me to do? Where does God want me to go?

Both of these scenarios are probably fairly normal for the human mind. I imagine God isn’t surprised by my self-centeredness. He knows me – thoughts, worries, ponderings, and all. In His eyes, I have vision like a new born baby. I can only see a few inches in front of me, which is why it is so good He holds me close. Because if left further out, I wouldn’t be able to recognize the smallest iota of Him and would feel so alone.

This morning I have been contemplating how human life, not just yours and mine, but all of it from the dawn of time until the day time is no more, is like a song. A song of worship to the one who created it. It starts in a tiny point when creation began and slowly increases in its intensity through the ages. The musical term for that is a Crescendo. Our lives are one small note played in the symphony orchestra of time. Our note we play is combined with the billions, maybe trillions, or beyond of other notes played on the sheet music of history. I have one chance to play my tiny part in this song of worship. One short dot in time to make my sound to bring glory to the One who created the Song. The question I’ve been thinking about is how will my tiny sound be? Will it be a sound played with all fervor to add to the crescendo of glory and worship? Or will it be a confused sound, fizzling out not playing it’s part in the song?

I get caught up, at times, looking for the next best thing to give myself to and I quickly forget that all I really need to do is concentrate on my note I play in the crescendo, and that I play it well. My days should be filled with sounding off His glory in what I do, what I say, and how I act. Recognizing the small things that are around me to do: laundry, cooking meals, loving my husband, my kids, my friends, and my neighbors well are what makes my sound stay on key for my part in the Crescendo. Enjoying the small things He has blessed me with are part of the sound of His note He has given me to make. For me my note I play seems like an eternity because I am too small to see the entirety of the piece written and orchestrated by God my Great Composer and Conductor. But in the scheme of things my part is one little millisecond of a note. A millisecond I want to play well and give honor with to the One who allowed me to be a part of His Crescendo because He loves me and wants to hear my part in the song He has written of His Greatness and His Glory.

Boxed Curriculum, Busy Work, and Being

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20 years ago when my oldest was kindergarten age we started to homeschool. I wanted the best for my son so I went to an Abeka meeting at a local hotel and purchased the entire kit for kindergarten. Teachers manuals, flashcards, and all. When my boxes arrived I worked hard setting up the school room. I got a little wooden school desk for him at a yard sale. I hung up posters. Made folders up. Got my lesson plans ready. I was on top of it. Then the first day began.

Through out his preschool days he had already learned a lot. Mainly by us taking construction paper and doing little made up projects that I thought up on how to learn letter sounds and recognize numbers. Nothing formal, just us playing and learning together in a fun atmosphere, but in my mind, in order to do things right, I needed to become more disciplined and do everything by the books, literally…

That’s when the trouble began… My sweet 5 year old son struggled with the concept of sitting still and doing page after page after page of workbook work. There were no fun projects. It was just him at a desk with a pencil.

In order to get through a day, we would do 15 minutes on 15 minutes off. I would make him plow through every page. Even if he understood the concept. It was miserable for him. It was miserable for me. After several weeks of this, I started talking to a seasoned homeschool mom. She encouraged me to return to what worked: A little less busywork, a little more creativity and fun. Now 19 years later, with 3 kids graduated from our homeschool and either graduated college or in college, I’m on my final kid, a sophomore. He’s benefited from all the experiments I tried on his older brother, who I’ve jokingly referred to as “the guinea pig”. I’d like to think his learning through the years has been a combination of the best, creative fun learning experiences through the years.

This morning as I read my Bible I came across the story of Mary and Martha. I was contemplating my own life. How I’ve set up a lot of religious “busywork” trying to create “the best” Christian life I can. Running Bible studies, heading up ministries, going to leader meetings, etc. But somewhere along the line the “busywork” has stolen the joy of a creative, living, breathing relationship that I’m meant to have with Jesus. I’ve reduced myself to a lifestyle that mirrors the kindergarten year of my oldest son. “Sit here for 15 min. Do this work. 15 minute break. Repeat.” All of this to try to make something special out of my life for the Master.

I’ve been a lot like Martha, wanting to have things perfect. Having thrown several dinner parties in my home, I can imagine her thought process. Everything must be in place, sparkling, and the food needs to be excellent as well. Jesus pointed out that that was not his expectations. Mary’s approach was what touched His heart. She wanted to be with Him. Soak Him and every word He said in. Enjoy the moment with Him because the moment was all she had and soon it would be gone.

Lately, I’ve woke up in a new position. A lot of the things I was striving to do ministry wise have suddenly ended. All the busywork has stopped. I’ve awaken to a new possibility of letting the Martha in me go and embracing the Mary. In a homeschool mom’s terms: I’ve come to a place where I can let go of the boxed curriculum’s rigidity and embrace life giving and freeing lifestyle learning.

God give me the grace to open my eyes and enjoy the things I already have. Let the striving for more cease as I learn once again to sit still at your feet and soak who you are in. Let You be enough. Not what I think I can build to enhance the perfection that You already are. Let me be like Mary and sit at your feet, enjoying You and all that You have given me to enjoy.

Be Strong and Courageous

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Written 3 years ago as my Facebook Post, I needed this today:

Youthful zeal is a good thing. As a high school and college student, I had confidence in a God who answered my prayers and I knew that through Him I could conquer giants. Time and circumstances can wear away at your confidence, if given the opportunity, or time and circumstances can build your faith to see the faithfulness of God in all things.

I am struck this morning by the life of Joshua. He lived a long life and saw the miraculous. If I’ve got this all calculated out right, he crossed the Red Sea and saw the armies of Pharaoh drown in the water. He spied out the Promised Land at the age of around 40. He wasn’t intimidated at the size of the giants in the land or their fortified cities. Instead He boldly said, “The Lord is with us. Do not be afraid of them.” (Numbers 14:9)

Due to the Israelite’s rebellion, he wandered with them for 40 years depending on the Lord’s provisions of Quail and Manna. He saw the constant complaining of the people. He was there when the people worshiped the golden calf. He experienced all the hardships of wandering and watched as one by one the people who rebelled died. Once again at the age of around 80 he was given the chance to go in and conquer giants.

This is what sticks out to me the most in the story of his life. Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

God comes to Joshua and tells him, “You are going to lead this people into the land I have promised. I am going to go with you. You are going to conquer the land.” But more than anything, He tells Joshua more than once, “Be strong and courageous.” He encourages him to not be afraid. Could it be that there was a reason for that? Joshua knew what was ahead. He knew there were fortified cities. He knew there were giants. He saw them. Could it be that the 40 years of wandering and watching may have worked a little on his resolve? He knew he had a big God capable of miraculous intervention, but he also knew the hardship of walking out God’s plan for him in 40 years of wandering with God’s people. Maybe Joshua needed to hear God say, “Don’t be afraid.”

I’ve always pictured Joshua as some muscle bound, warrior. Chomping at the bit to go out and conquer it all. It’s quite a bit different to picture him as an 80 year old man, who has seen a lot in his lifetime and may be a little weary from the journey. It may be possible that Joshua needed to hear, “Be strong and courageous.” Straight from the lips of God. So he would know that God really wasn’t done with him yet. He had plans for him and promises yet to be fulfilled.

Giants in the land can be quite the intimidating thing. Fortified cities can stand before you as a mountainous obstacle. Wandering around for 40 years can wear on your resolve.

Sometimes I can look at what I perceive I must face in front of me and I may feel like the 80 year old Joshua inside of me. I know I have a faithful God. I have seen Him do great miracles. Yet I stand at the beginning of yet another adventure and wonder, “Do I have the stuff to conquer the giants facing me?” Here is where I can find great comfort in looking at the life of Joshua. Forty years later, at the age of 120, as he knew he was getting close to dying he says these words, “Now I am about to go the way of all the earth. You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed.” Joshua 23:14.

He fought many hard battles as they conquered the Promised Land. But he also knew the secret to his success. “The Lord God fights for you. Just as He promised. ” Joshua 23:10

My giants I face may stand looming as great opponents of significant size, but my God who fights for me is bigger than whatever battle I face. Not one promise of my God will fail me. They will all be fulfilled, and I stand as a victor against my enemies that rise up and try to cause me to walk in fear and doubt.

Now is not the time at the age of 45 to curl up and say that life is too hard. Now is the time to go on in and let the Lord fight for me as He leads me to the place He has given me. His place of Victory in Jesus.

Leave the Heavy Lifting to Him

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Athleticism is not my forte. Especially when it comes to upper body strength. My 15 year old son had been working with a personal trainer to learn the ins and outs of weight lifting. He thought it was hilarious to see his 48 year old mom not only needed a spotter for the Olympic bar, all of the 45 lbs of it, when bench pressing, but could not even do one rep. Being that weak is just something he can’t even fathom. I told him over and over that I couldn’t do it, but he just had to see. I obliged, but I’m not a fan of the feeling of the struggle of a heavy bar on my chest. I had him promise to get me out from underneath it the second I told him I was overwhelmed. Which was within seconds of him helping me get the bar off the stand.

I’ve found myself on a spiritual weight bench lately. Struggling with a bar that I am in no means able to press on my own. For the observers out there it may look silly to see someone who has walked with the Lord as long as I have struggling under the weight of issues that appear to be the size of a bar with no weights. What’s worse is the feeling I get as it lays on my chest. Anxiety has risen its ugly head more than once in the past few weeks. Creating discomfort in the physical that reflects the condition of the mental and spiritual side of me. I’ve sat here this morning contemplating the place I’ve found myself in. I’m sure what I’m trying to lift was never meant for me to press on my own. I need for my “spotter”, the Holy Spirit, to come put His hands on the bar and lift this weight off of my chest. There’s no shame in admitting that I’m unable to lift it alone. The problem comes when I think it is all up to me and refuse to ask for His help and His healing of the things that I cannot fix on my own.

Galatians 5:1 says “It was for freedom that Christ has set us free.” His intention was not for me to prove my value or worth by taking my turn on the weight bench of life pressing the heaviness of the enemies’ lies and attacks.

It’s high time I owned up to the truth like I did with my son. I’m not a weight lifter. So I’m not going to get on that bench any more. Whether it be physically or spiritually. I’m going to leave the lifting to the expert. The one who took care of it all on the cross. When He lifted my freedom up in conquering the weight of my past, my sins, and the things I am too weak to bear.

A Desire for the Immensity of the Sea

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I’m a midwestern girl. Born, raised, married and will more than likely grow old and die in the same midwestern state. Once every few years I get a hankering to experience something outside of my normal hills, trees, and humidity. So we hop in our car and drive to the ocean.

The ocean is intimidating to me. I guess it’s the unfamiliarity I have with it. I’ve learned I don’t know what I need to know to really be “safe” in it. Things like a “warning flag for dangerous animals” really does mean something… hello jellyfish stings. Riptides exist and could kill me. I can get farther from the shore than I care to be, quicker than I thought I could, and experience waves bigger than I want to experience in a short time with a boogie board and a 9 year old girl.

So my respect-for/ fear of the ocean is probably healthy for a landlubber like me.

But one thing about the ocean that draws me back to dip my toes in it time after time is it’s immensity. Usually my first few minutes of visiting the ocean is spent standing at the edge with my mouth slightly agape in a smile. “Wow” usually slips from my lips. I stare and focus as far out as I can to see ships that I know are bigger than my house but appear to be the size of a bobber in a pond near where I call home. I think of all the sea animals that are out there, how I’m just one little dot on an enormous map looking out at something that connects me to another small dot(person) standing on their shore miles and miles away who doesn’t look anything like me, talk like me, have customs like me, etc.

I know, I know, I probably analyze things too much. But it’s only for a second, then it’s to the business at hand, wading in the water looking for shells and crabs amongst the waves that crash against my legs and knock me around.

So I read a quote this morning from a book I’m reading about discipleship of women. The quote is, ““If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and assign them tasks and work but rather teach them to long for the immensity of the sea.” – Antoine de Saint- Exupery. It really struck a chord with me. Just like my occasional venture to the ocean is brought on by a desire for adventure, our spiritual lives are spurred on by the desire for something much grander and more splendid than the lives we trudge through on the regular. My lack of excitement in my pursuit of God is often fed by my contentment to stay in the safety of my spiritual “mid western” state. It’s easier at times to stay far inland where the risk of something much bigger than me is far, far away. But God has put in each of us a desire for “the immensity of the sea”. Not only does He want us to stand on the shore of experiencing Him and admire His greatness, He wants us to explore the depths of His oceans of love. This takes leaving behind the comfort of my predictable life and pursuing the direction my adventure guide, the Holy Spirit, leads me. That’s not always comfortable or familiar, but it is oh so very good!

There are times this exploration leaves me a little shook up by the waves knocking against my legs, but if I persist in my exploration of all His goodness I will find treasures that few people experience. It is then, when I explore Him in His greatness that I understand that there is nothing bigger than Him and His love for me. It will take a life time to explore, a lifetime of inexplicable treasures and joy for me as I pursue to understand the “immensity of His sea”.

“Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory in the heavens. Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?”

Psalm 8:1-4 NIV

One In The Crowd Of Billions

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Something so deep, so defiling, so personal… something not really fully understood… carrying this long held affliction has taken its toll.

Pressing forward with insurmountable odds against her she goes to the only one she knows is able to fix the broken inside of her. She reaches out to simply touch the Healer in hope that He is enough to fix what no one has been able to fix so far.

How often have I found myself sitting in her sandals? Reaching out with the last ounce of who I am to touch the Healer? How often have I pressed through the crowds of circumstances, the crowds that overwhelm believing that if I can just get a my hand to touch the Master of all, I will find His very presence is enough to stop the bleeding issue that has been a part of me for years?

Jesus knew that in a crowd of hundreds pressing in to get a glimpse of the “Miracle Man” there was one: One whose desperation had driven her to bring the one thing that no one can fix to Him, The one who dared to believe there was a solution to a situation that all other indicators pointed to the word “impossible”.

He looks at me with that same heart of love and sees me in a crowd of billions. His power released to fix the “impossible” in my life.

The desperate woman may have never fully pictured what it would be like to finally be free of the plague she had endured. But Jesus told her a great place to start. “Live well, live blessed!” Freedom has come!

His intentions over 2000 years ago for a woman of no significance, Just One in a crowd of hundreds, stands true for a woman in a crowd of billions today. He focuses in on that One to set her free to live a life blessed and free.

I am the one in the crowd reaching out.

You are “The One” too.

“Jesus said to her, “Daughter, you took a risk of faith, and now you’re healed and whole. Live well, live blessed! Be healed of your plague”

Mark 5:34 MSG

Weed or Good Seed And the Harvest to Come

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After a 3 year hiatus, we planted a garden this year. Rich and I are amateur gardeners. We’ve played around with it off and on since we’ve moved into our current house. Each year we flub up something and talk about how we “should have” done this or that. Making mental notes on how to improve the next year.

Most of the time we hit July and our garden needs a desperate intervention, i.e. push mowing, then tilling (maybe), etc. And we somehow get some veggies out of it. This year is the first time we’ve actually been on top of it. Things are looking pretty good. Probably the biggest mistake we did this year lays at my feet. Too big of gaps between rows and then not marking what I planted in a few rows. So we had a couple of rows that we weren’t sure if we were getting weeds or carrots and beets. And I really couldn’t remember if I bought any other seed that I threw in it. I guess that comes from my classic inattention to detail and Rich’s obsession with it. (It’s a good thing opposites attract.). I think we finally have it figured out what’s in the two rows. It’s just taken some time between sowing the good seed in the ground and watching the plants come up. Maybe even a little of learning to discern what a beet plant looks like (since I’ve never planted them before in my life) and what a weed is.

Every day we’ve been home this past month has been characterized by our signature stroll through the garden and around the yard looking at our plants. Rich and I get a cup of coffee and walk around looking at the state of things and discuss our mystery rows. It hit me a couple of days ago that things are looking pretty good, and our daily attention and maintenance is finally paying off.

In years past, I’ve thought about how God has a thing for Gardens. A Garden was the home he had for Adam and Eve. A Garden was where Jesus went to pray, and garden illustrations i.e. parables are frequent in the Bible. So after hooking up the water sprinkler for the morning watering I looked at our mystery rows and began to think about one of those verses in particular. “And don’t allow yourselves to be weary or disheartened in planting good seeds, for the season of reaping the wonderful harvest you’ve planted is coming!”

Galatians 6:9 TPT

Rich and I were a little disheartened a couple of weeks ago while trying to till the garden. Is that a carrot or a weed? It may have been a rough month trying to figure out which was the fruit of good seed and which was a choking weed but I think I’ve finally got it figured out. Thank God for iPhones and Google.

So in traditional Garden/ spiritual parallel form, it came to me. I’ve walked with the Lord since I was a teenager. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to sow Good seeds into my life and the lives of those around me. But somehow in the ins and outs of life I’ve sat back and looked at what’s coming up in the garden of my life and wondered. “Is that a weed or a plant from good seed?” It all looks a lot alike and I’m getting tired of trying to figure it out. In fact right now it looks like all I’m getting in my life is a bunch of weeds where I had tried to plant good things. (That’s a huge bummer). My daily walk about the garden of my life has been discouraging to say the least. But God!!

His promise to me is that the good seed I’ve planted is going to reap a good harvest. And I can trust Him to help me sort out the weeds in my life so the good stuff will flourish. The biggest thing is that I don’t get discouraged in planting the good seeds in my life. That I simply don’t give up! It may take some time. It may involve sweat and tears. It may be harder than I anticipated when I started. But His goodness is there causing the seeds to grow.

It won’t be long I’ll be kicking back with a fresh watermelon and sliced tomatoes from my garden, not the produce aisle at the store, and in God’s timing I’ll be surrounded by the good fruit of what I have sown in my life, my family’s life, and my friends. It’s just the way God works. What He promises He does! Guaranteed!

Complete the Mission

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BA325E47-71D7-4D78-B64A-4E6331BF7FE6Last night Rich and I watched “Windtalkers”, a movie about the Navajo language being used as code during World War II. Nicholas Cage stars as a marine who was assigned the duty of protecting one of the Navajo Code talkers while in battle on the field. I was struck by a phrase in the movie that Sergeant Joe Enders repeatedly said, “We have to complete the mission.” Even under the most horrendous circumstances this was his goal. He would sacrifice all in order to complete the mission.

Lately life has been challenging in many areas. The thought of “completing the mission” has been far from my mind. It’s been more like, let go of the mission. Take the easier road. Life isn’t supposed to be this hard. You’re making it harder than it was intended to be.

There may be some truth in the whole “you’re making it harder than it was intended to be” thing. But letting go of the mission should never be an option.

Jesus set out the mission for us all in very clear terms. We are to “seek first the kingdom and His righteousness.” Matthew 6:33. And we are supposed to keep doing what He has put into our heart to do. No looking back. That’s “putting your hand to the plow.” Luke 9:62.

There’s a lot said in the Bible about God “renewing our strength”, helping us to”not grow weary”. Galatians 6:9. We are told by Jesus we should “ask, seek, and knock” when we pursue Him. The literal translation goes more along this line: “keep on seeking, keep on knocking, keep on asking”. It’s not a one time deal.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with my 19 year old daughter. She was expressing her frustrations with various things in her life. It was kind of like looking in the mirror at the younger me. I remember feeling like my life was in this holding pattern. Go to work, go to school, go to church, go home. Over and over again. Like the movie “Groundhog’s Day”. Same thing every day. Monotony… I told her at one point in the conversation that she needed to get outside of all her frustrations and focus on the one thing that is really needed, her relationship with God. Then the rest of the stuff will come in time. Easy words to say. Not so easy to do, but that is what “completing the mission” really is.

Paul summed it up pretty well in Philippians: “I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 3:10-14 NIV

The big goal in life is not “who has the biggest toys”, “who makes a name for themself”, or as Christians , “Who built the biggest ministry”. It’s “accomplishing the mission” it’s “ taking ahold of that for which Christ has taken ahold of me”. And the whole reason Jesus got ahold of me was not for what I could do. It was for who I am to Him, His beloved. It was because He wanted me to “know Him and the power of His resurrection.”

That is the mission. Knowing Jesus and His power that makes all the dead things in my life alive. If I pursue that, everything else will fall into place. Even the things that seem insurmountable at the present time.

Simple Devotion

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I wrote this Poem almost 27 years ago shortly after we met. Rich instantly swept me off my feet back in 1992. I wasn’t sure what to think. I hid this poem inside a picture frame with his picture in it. (back then I wasn’t apt to share any poems I wrote) One day I pulled it out and showed my girlfriends. Anyway it ended up on our Wedding Programs.

My sweet husband has been making the point today to make me feel especially special today on Valentines: Sending me texts with our song, “Everything I do” Bryan Adams, declaring his love for me on Facebook. He really is God’s gift to me for so many reasons. I can honestly say that marrying him back on January 2nd, 1993 was the best thing I have ever done with exception of giving my life to God as a kid.

Our relationship was centered on Jesus from the beginning and has been throughout the years. Our love has been a gift not from within ourselves, but from God who gives perfect love.

I love you Rich with all my heart! Happy Valentine’s Day my Special Young Man that God promised me!

Simple Devotion

I look into your eyes and know the love you have.

I see it in your smile, I hear it in your laugh.

I feel a thrill when you are near, and when we’re together there is nothing to fear.

Simple devotion is what I see

I see it in you, I hope you see it in me

A devotion that goes beyond us

Where your love is not only for me

But what you give to God for all eternity.

I must tell you this one thing that is true

I see Jesus living in you

I love you more and more with each passing day,

But my love can not compare to the love that God gave.

I know you know it and you see it is true,

I know His Fire is burning in you

As we’re here together in front of God and man

Pledging our love and lives together as part of His plan

As one we will live, as one we will give

Our hearts, souls and bodies as an offering

Of simple devotion to our Lord and King

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NIV

A Hope That Does Not Disappoint

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purple sky

Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Pexels.com

Romans 5:5 has been echoing through my mind this morning. “Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

Romans 5:5 NKJV

Disappointment, that’s a word that has marred my life at times. Since It keeps running through my mind I figured I might as well check out the dictionary definition. “Defeat or failure of expectation, hope, wish, desire or intention; miscarriage of design or plan.” Webster’s 1828.

“Miscarriage of design or plan.” Wow! That sticks out. 16 years ago, after a year of trying to conceive, I miscarried a baby. Talk about a huge disappointment. It’s just not the way it’s meant to be. From the moment you become aware you have conceived and you hear the heart beat of a little one, the dream of how it is supposed to go becomes the gospel truth in your head. The design is to carry the baby nine months, Go through labor and delivery, and hold a beautiful baby in your arms. When it ends in anything but that, expectations are crushed.

Loss of any kind brings so much disappointment. We’re supposed to have perfect families, perfect marriages, perfect health, etc… it’s just the way the design should be. Or is it?

Eight years ago our family experienced 2 significant losses. The death of my father in law and my nephew was lost a sea while serving in the Navy. Both of these losses occurred within 15 days of each other. Two funerals within a month. It was a huge disappointment. It wasn’t the way it was supposed to go.

In recent years, I’ve watched my mom and my mother in law suffer from the effects of cancer. Once again a disappointment. Not exactly the way I had planned it would be.

In fact my mom has suffered for 19 years with the effects of cancer having survived breast cancer, but left with tremendous pain and now suffering with late stage ovarian cancer. It’s not the way it should have been, a disappointment. It’s a “miscarriage of a design or plan” what should have been.

The focus on these disappointments can paralyze you if you let it. It will hold you down with fears of moving, living, carrying on… Because the question comes, when will the next big hammer fall?

BUT… we have this hope. It’s a hope that does not disappoint. It doesn’t miscarry it’s designed purpose. It doesn’t bring you so far and drop you like a hot rock. It’s the one sure thing we can bank on no matter what twist or turn we face on planet earth. It’s the sureness of God’s great love and His promise that He will never leave us no matter what we walk through. It’s the confidence that although we live in a fallen world marred with disappointment and pain, we have a better place, which is really our home, waiting for us in Heaven. The things that were miscarried, cut short, flawed, and a disappointment, are only a small period of time in the light of eternity in a land where there is no suffering and no more pain.

Eight years ago when we went through such great loss, one of my children asked me why we had to lose my nephew and my father in love. It’s hard to explain that to an adult, but a kid makes it all the worse. I told them “I don’t understand why these awful things happen, that’s what makes heaven, heaven and where we live earth, earth. I can’t understand why we have to hurt sometimes and why bad thing happen. But I know God is good, and I have to trust that someday it will all make sense.”

God is good. His hope does not disappoint. It will accomplish exactly what it was conceived to do. His hope will lead me on in His love knowing that when all this is done, it will all be made right. No more suffering, whether it be physically or mentally, No more pain. Only joy and peace and perfect love when we stand face to face with Jesus in eternity’s hall.

“Hope doesn’t disappoint.” Sink your teeth into that one. Grab ahold and don’t let go. It’s a precious promise that brings peace when things here on earth are far from what you dreamed they would have been.