Category Archives: stay at home mom

Live It… Your Children Will Be Blessed- Reflections on Proverbs 20

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Practical wisdom, Proverbs offers plenty of it: working with diligence, living in faithfulness, dealing with honesty, avoiding gossip… even warnings of being led astray by wine and beer are just a few of the topics of this chapter.

As I read it, there is a promise that stands out to me summarizing the result of practicing all the practical wisdom the entire book of Proverbs contains:

”The righteous man walks in his integrity; blessed (happy, fortunate, enviable) are his children after him.“
Proverbs 20:7 AMPC

The righteous or Godly man is the man who lives his life set apart to God. The one who obeys what God has commanded in His Word. The promise is that his children will be blessed or happy.

As parents we want what is best for our kids. The BEST thing you can give your kids is to live your life in complete surrender to God and His ways. This comes by learning what it is that He, out of His great love, has commanded in His Word… i.e. study your Bible, and OBEY what it says. This also comes by a relationship with God. We hear Him speak through His Word, and we talk to Him in prayer throughout our day. It is a continual, moment by moment, focus on God.

Long ago, as a young mom, I heard it said, “If you want your kids to love God and know Him, you have to love God yourself. You cannot impart what you Do Not Have!” Simply put, if you want your kids to have the blessings — joy, peace , and happiness of knowing God, you must have a deep relationship with Him as well. Model it in front of them! Your children are following your lead!

Memories of the Baptism

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Momma friends- keep the main thing the main thing! Jesus first!

Remember your little ones are like a flower bed. You need to sow good seed into them and tend their little hearts as they grow. If you do, you will see good fruit.
You cannot give them what you don’t already have. If you want your babies to know God you have to live that in front of them. You may have a great heritage passed down from your Parents or Grandma and Grandpa. But if we do not take that heritage of knowing God and make it our own it will mean nothing in our lives. Relationship with God is not something you inherit from someone. It is something you have on your own personally.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭6‬:‭9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

This is what I wrote on Facebook 9 years ago, the day of my youngest sons baptism:

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” 1 Peter 1:4


While holding my oldest son as an infant, I can remember as a young mother looking at the baby God had blessed me with, and praying with all urgency that God would mark his heart, that at a young age God would speak to him, and that he would serve God with all his heart for all his days. I have prayed this same prayer over each of my children at different times. I have walked into their rooms at night just to watch them sleeping and found myself kneeling besides their bed asking God to keep their hearts close to Him. That God would speak to them, and draw them to Himself and place a call on their lives. A prayer that at the time seemed kind of scary because God could call them all into missions and send them continents away from me, but whatever He wants for them is what I want for them.
God has given me the privilege of praying with each of my kids to ask Jesus into their hearts, each of them at very young ages: 5 years, 4 years, 5 years, 4 years. At times I thought they seem so young, God if they don’t understand please continue to work in them and draw them close to you.
Today marks a special event in the life of my youngest son. With a sense of urgency he has been asking over and over to be baptized. He told me the other night he heard the Holy Spirit tell him he needed to be baptized again. Years ago we allowed him to be baptized at the age of 5 because he asked and asked to be baptized then. When pondering if this was a good idea to let him be baptized so young, I continually heard the verse of Jesus saying, “Let the little children come to me.” over and over in my head. My husband and I decided to let him knowing that at an older age he may want to be baptized again.
I am humbled on how faithful God has been to fulfill my deepest desire as a mom, that my children would have a real relationship with Jesus, not just one that is based on the relationship my husband and I have with God, one of their own.
Wednesday night I made it late to church. My youngest had a flag football game. As soon as it was over, he looked at me and said, “Let’s go! How much of church do you think we missed?” He loves playing football, but he loves going to church more. He wasn’t too thrilled that the games were on Wednesday night, but it is what it is. As I walked into the room where the youth group was being held, my youngest daughter was thoroughly involved in worship, eyes closed, hands raised. My older daughter was singing and playing the piano in worship to God. Then my oldest son, 19 years old, paused his singing, and with an urgency about him talked about how worship was a special time that God had created us for. How God wants more of us. It struck me how he no longer talked like a kid, but as a man, a man of God. I thought about those times besides his bedside praying for God to mark his heart. I thought about my daughters and the conversations we have had lately about God and living for him. I thought about my baby boy, even though he is 10 years old, joking with me this week that he is going to be president some day, if not that then a preacher, maybe both.
This morning my heart is full. God has allowed me to have the privilege to sow seeds into the hearts of my kids, and I am getting to see just a little of the fruit from it. There is nothing greater than seeing your kids walking in the truth no matter where God may lead them. They are His. May His gifting and calling on each of their lives be fulfilled. I am one blessed momma.

Finished the Race- Retirement of a Sentimental Homeschool Mom

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“ I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race…” 2 Timothy 4:7

One of the many school days. Me and my baby, Andy, Graduating this year Class of 2022

When you’re a writer, you write. I’ve been at this for a while. It’s probably the best way to sort out what’s going on on the inside of me. The other day I was digging through one of my MANY 1/2 finished journals and stumbled upon this entry.

Journal Entry 8/29/2007

The above journal entry must have been right before I started a new school year. I was calculating the cost that day, and I’m pretty sure I must have been overwhelmed. My baby would have been almost 3 1/2, youngest daughter – 7, older daughter -9, and oldest-13. As I have told many, I have no business teaching math, I was a little off on my calculation for graduation of Andy- the baby, it is this year, in fact, it’s less than a week away.

First graduate class of 2013 First born Aaron.

I did it! It’s almost a done deal. The verse in 2 Timothy 4 has been running through my mind. Paul was finishing up his race on earth., and I’m not planning on going anywhere soon i.e. dying… but as far as the homeschooling season of my life, all 22 years of it, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race…” It’s really been hard for me to believe it is true. Although, this past year, has had relatively little homeschooling for me, since Andy took some classes at a small private school for dual credit, it signals the end of the homeschooling season for me.

Daughter #1 -Laura Class of 2016 with little sister.

Years ago, when all this started up, someone asked me how long I was planning on homeschooling my kids. I told them that I had no idea. It would be as long as God gave me the ability to do it, and I am glad that He did give me the grace for 22 years. I knew in my heart that God had called me to homeschool my kids, but I have lived with self-doubt of my abilities to teach my kids the entire time. I have had a nagging voice telling me how I was “Screwing them up” whispering in my ear frequently. I have woken up many mornings thinking about how I needed to figure out how to get the school bus to pick up my kids. But in the end after all my self-doubt, fears, and thoughts of quitting, I would not change the past 22 years for anything in the world. In fact, being at home with my kids since July 1995 when my first born came home from the hospital has been the joy of my life and I am thankful that God gave me the opportunity to do just that. I’ve often told my kids the reason I wanted to stay home and then homeschool was that I wanted to see all their firsts: Their first steps, their first words, their first word’s read, their first field trip, their first dance, and oh yes, their first time driving on a road with a permit… so many firsts. All this culminating with being able to stand on a stage in front of friends and family and hand their diploma to them personally as their teacher K-12.

Daughter #2 Faith class of 2018

I want to attest to you, that completing the past 22 years is not something that I did in my own strength. I finished the above journal entry on the next page with these two sentences, “Who else have I got besides you God? If I don’t trust, what can I do?” If you only knew me, you would understand how much I have needed Him the past 22 years. In fact, looking at the future, I still see how much I need Him for the next 49 of whatever He has for me to be about. It’s a little disconcerting to find yourself done with the one thing you have focused so much attention on for so long. I’ve found myself tearing up more than once the past couple of weeks contemplating it all. I’ve got things to be about, but honestly, I feel a little lost. Who I have been for the past 22 years is a “homeschool mom”. Now I’m not 100 % sure who I am supposed to be. I’ve got some ideas, but just like it was 22 years ago, when I think of what that means for me to be about it, I find myself shaking in my boots again, thinking about how unqualified I am, self doubt, and the old familiar “you will definitely screw that up…” So I guess I’m on the right track. lol. Because once again I find myself needing to write in a journal for 5/15/2022. “Who else have I got besides you God? If I don’t trust, what can I do?”

A week away from Graduation

God’s Promise for Moms- Philippians 1:6

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This Mother’s Day will be my 25th as an official Mother. It’s kind of hard to believe for me.  Being a Mom was something I always wanted to be, but it was also the scariest of propositions for me.  From the day I found out I was pregnant with my first to today I’ve always had this awareness of what I lacked for being the Mom I should be.  I’m sure if I was able to take a poll of all the moms out there that is what they would tell you too.  It kind of comes with the territory.  There’s always someone more creative, with a cleaner house, more respectful kids, healthier meals, happier husband, taking all the “me time” they need, and so on- kind of mom.  For some reason “comparison” is the favorite game of moms all around. At least it was my game of choice for most of my childrearing years, and on occasion still is…

There’s nothing like having a little life to shape and mold as your primary responsibility, or maybe 2 lives, 3 lives, or in my case 4.  Needless to say I’ve spent a lot of time praying and telling God “I have no idea what to do with … (fill in the blank with a name).” In fact, that’s a prayer I still use frequently and three of my four are adults now.  I guess that may never stop.

Recently, I’ve been spending time in the book of Philippians in the Bible.  The first chapter has a verse that I’ve thought of often in my journey of motherhood.  Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  It’s a verse that I’ve often heard as an encouragement to an individual. The ol “don’t get discouraged, God isn’t finished with me yet.” kind of verse. But Paul was writing this to a group of friends, brothers/ sisters in Jesus, who he described as having them in his heart (Philippians 1:7) the ones he said he prayed for.  Some of the same things I as a mother of grown kids can relate to.  My adult children and my teen are in my heart.  They have been in my heart since I heard the first heart beat in the ob/gyn office, and I pray for them, on the regular.  I know that life, although full of joys and excitement, is very hard.  The struggles they had while under my roof may have changed, but I know they are there. I was 20 something once and I struggled too.  But I can say as Paul said about his spiritual family in Philippi, about my family, “God began a good work in them and He will finish it.”  I’ve told young mothers who’ve worried about how to deal with the various challenges of infancy and toddlerhood, “Remember as much as you love that little angel, God loves them the same and then some.”  Same applies at any age.  God loves them the same as I do and then some.  He doesn’t start a project to abandon it.  He simply is not finished yet.

It’s hard to let God have our kids at any age.  The reality of this hit me shortly after I brought my firstborn home from the hospital.  I was a fear filled mother and SIDS was on the forefront of my mind.  I would sit on the edge of my bed with a flashlight watching my son breathe in his bassinet.  I remember praying, “God, I can’t stay awake 24/7.  Sooner or later I will have to go to bed and trust Him to You for a few hours.”  Not really understanding the reality that God not only had him when I slept, He had him when I was awake too. It really wasn’t all on me to keep him alive, but it was on God.  Then the same kid turned 16, got a little blueish truck and hopped in it to drive to town.  Once again I found myself scared of what could happen to a teenage male driver who believed he was invincible.  I spent some time laying face first in my carpet asking God to bring him home safe, realizing it wasn’t about me at all, but totally about God.  The for instances in this paragraph could go on and on, especially since I have four kids that I have prayed for, cried over, and felt so helpless at times to help.  But thankfully by kid number four It’s getting a little easier to see just how much God has all these things even when I do not.  (cheers instead of tears when he drove away newly licensed a few months ago.)

I’ve not reached Jedi master in this whole, faith filled mom who never worries about her kids’ next step and direction thing, but I do intend on holding fast to those words Paul penned so many centuries ago.  Even though I am no longer able to call the shots, give the orders, put them in time out, or send them to bed. (Nor would I want to. I’m kind of enjoying the freedom. 🙂  )  I am able to bring them before God on the regular and I must trust that God will “carry on” His good work in them.  I had to trust them with God while I slept as they were infants, and I must trust them with God as they take their wings and fly away.