Every once in awhile life rattles my cage. It may be more than every once and awhile. In fact I bet everyone gets their cage rattled more than every once and awhile. My life the past two days has been like an 8.0 earthquake to my cage. Once again medical issues involving my husband’s heart have hit him. This has involved several calls to the doctors, a Mother’s Day trip to the ER , and finally an appointment for a cardioversion on Wednesday. For one who has a history anxiety and one who admittedly prefers to play it safe over taking risks this has challenged me. But God’s timing, as always is impecable.
I’m in this small online (Facetime) Bible study with a few friends that we started up when COVID hit. We’ve been studying a Fisherman’s Bible Study called “When Faith is All You Have”. This week happens to be about “When Faith Faces Death”. Let me clarify, I’m not thinking my husband is going anywhere, but stopping his heart for even a second, on purpose, is not my desired treatment for the issues he’s been battling with AFIB. An easy peasy pray and it is all good would be my preference, but so far it’s not what’s happened. The Bible study is covering the account of God’s deliverance of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt. One aspect of the account has been echoing in my heart since I read it last week:
“Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Then the LORD said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on.” Exodus 14:13-15 NIV
The Jewish people, who had lived in slavery their entire life subjected to the cruel overlords, never allowed to fight back, trusted God enough to follow Moses out of Egypt. Admittedly they had seen awesome miracles that God had done on their behalf as God unleashed the plagues on Egypt to soften the Pharoah’s heart so He would let them go. But they had made it out only to stand with the Red Sea in front of them, the Egyptians coming hot on their heels. Looking at their situation the Jewish people quickly forgot all the miracles God had already performed on their behalf and started to immediately cry out about how they wished they had never left, they were going to die, and they wanted to go back to Egypt. Not exactly how I would say a group of people should display their faith in the God who fights for them. God tells Moses “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on.” The time wasn’t to freeze up with fear, cower in a corner, but to step out knowing God was going to meet them there with a miracle. Which happened to be a split sea, dry ground, and eventually the total destruction of the Egyptian Army who wanted to enslave them again-FREEDOM.
Fast forward to a verse in Hebrews 11, God’s Hall of Fame of Faith, verse 29 “By faith the people passed through the Red Sea as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to follow, they were drowned. By faith the people passed through the Red Sea as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned.” This is where God’s grace amazes me once more. A group of people who were afraid, begging to be able to quit, doubting, were listed in God’s Hall of Fame of Faith. They were commended for their faith to walk through the Red Sea on dry land. They may have let circumstances shake them up, but they had the courage (however small it was) to take a step toward the sea in front of them where God met them with a miracle that was heralded with singing and dancing on the other shore- safe and secure from the enslavement of Egypt.
Yesterday, I went to town to go to the store to buy some toilet paper. Code words for “Get alone, to think, cry, pray and vent”. Most of the time spent talking about how I’m not enough for the path God has me on, and I’m not happy about the direction either. I don’t like the oceans of “trip to St Louis” complete with the Armies of “Afib, heart issues, and procedures for my husband” breathing down our necks… Especially on a day I’m supposed to be celebrating with my kids…”Mother’s Day”.
Then this morning after a scary to me moment in the middle of the night, my husband twitching in his sleep due to a weird dream, but me interpreting the twitching to be heart related. (Fear always makes things look so much bigger than they are) I got up, went to my recliner and looked for a worship song to focus myself on Jesus and get my eyes off my ocean and army threats. I stumble across the song, “Never Lost” by Elevation Worship. The chorus goes, “You can do all things, but fail. You’ve never lost a battle and you never will.” There you have it. God’s Grace on my life pumping some faith into my heart. He knows for me with my short sighted humanity, things look scary. But He also knows to remind me that God can do all things. He can work miracles on our behalf whether supernaturally or with the aid of a physician. He can work all this out for our Good simply because we love HIm and are called according to His purpose. Romans 8. And NO Matter how Wednesday goes, He can do all things, BUT fail! Because the truth is time and time again when I’ve faced the battles bigger than me, God has never lost them as He fought for me, and HE NEVER WILL! He is the God who can do all things but Fail as He shows Himself strong on my behalf over and over again.
Update!! We went to St Louis. When hooked up to EKG my husband’s heart was back in rhythm. So no cardioversion! Doctor wasn’t quite sure why His heart went back into rhythm on it’s own. But I am sure I know. God is good!!