Come and See

Skepticism can run a mile deep in me. I’ve come to a place in my life that reflects what a true Missouri girl would say. “Show me”. But even when shown I’m still watching intently for some slight of hand, hidden agenda, inconsistency, etc.

I’ve been reflecting this morning on the words of Nathanael in the Bible: “Philip found Nathanael and told him, “We have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.” “Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?” Nathanael asked. “Come and see,” said Philip.”

John 1:45-46 NIV.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that Nathanael is my kind of guy. When he was approached by Philip telling him he had found the messiah, Jesus of Nazareth, Nathanael’s caution alarms sounded and his skepticism wheels began to turn. I would estimate that it was all motivated by him going around the block one too many times with the people he had seen coming out of Nazareth. During his time, a Roman army garrison was located there. The very army that oppressed his people. He had probably seen the injustices and watched the politics played out as some of the Jews tried to “make the best” of the situation by compromising their morals and betraying their countrymen all in an effort to win the favor of their unwanted residents. So hearing that the Messiah, the one who was supposed to set all this wrong right, came out of that town set off a huge red flag. Thankfully he did find it within himself to check out the claims he heard, and when he encountered Jesus, Jesus told him “Here truly is an Israelite in whom there is no deceit.” Jesus recognized the truth that Nathanael wanted. He only wanted what was real. Nothing fake for that man, and Jesus assures him that his desire for the authentic would be satisfied with Nathanael seeing greater things than he could have ever imagined.

Jesus gets where we are coming from, and He understands our struggle with vulnerability. Especially in a world where vulnerability can often mean opening ourselves up to hurts that cannot be imagined. But He also calls us out to take the chance to believe and to hope. Knowing that His hope does not disappoint.

Nathanael had a choice that day. He could have declined the invitation to look, to go and see. It would have meant a life of the ordinary for him. If he had stayed where Philip found him and said, “I’m out”, he would have never encountered the one of whom he wondered “How do you know me?” One encounter with Jesus rocked his world of skepticism. It opened his heart to the vulnerability of believing and enabled him to receive things he probably never imagined possible growing up a boy in Cana just doing the daily ins and outs of life.

I find myself this morning sitting at a crossroad. Do I ball up in my corner and shut out the possibility of encountering something incredible? Or do I open myself up once again to feel. Feel not only the hurts that vulnerability can bring, but the joy and love it brings as well, and to experience the joy of being known as well as knowing the life that God intends for me.

I am really grateful that God saw fit to put this interaction between Nathanael, Philip, and Jesus in the first chapter of John. It gives me hope that in my times of questioning what is real and what is not, God doesn’t just mark me off for my struggling to believe. Instead He makes a point to clarify exactly where He has seen me in the past and where He plans to take me in the future when I acknowledge who He is: my God, my King, and the Teacher of how to get where He wants to go. He doesn’t give up on me. He encourages me to get up and move on. He’s got plans for me, and they are good. Whether I see it in the present or not. His invitation to me is the same as Philip gave to Nathanael, “Come and see”.

A Hope That Does Not Disappoint

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Romans 5:5 has been echoing through my mind this morning. “Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

Romans 5:5 NKJV

Disappointment, that’s a word that has marred my life at times. Since It keeps running through my mind I figured I might as well check out the dictionary definition. “Defeat or failure of expectation, hope, wish, desire or intention; miscarriage of design or plan.” Webster’s 1828.

“Miscarriage of design or plan.” Wow! That sticks out. 16 years ago, after a year of trying to conceive, I miscarried a baby. Talk about a huge disappointment. It’s just not the way it’s meant to be. From the moment you become aware you have conceived and you hear the heart beat of a little one, the dream of how it is supposed to go becomes the gospel truth in your head. The design is to carry the baby nine months, Go through labor and delivery, and hold a beautiful baby in your arms. When it ends in anything but that, expectations are crushed.

Loss of any kind brings so much disappointment. We’re supposed to have perfect families, perfect marriages, perfect health, etc… it’s just the way the design should be. Or is it?

Eight years ago our family experienced 2 significant losses. The death of my father in law and my nephew was lost a sea while serving in the Navy. Both of these losses occurred within 15 days of each other. Two funerals within a month. It was a huge disappointment. It wasn’t the way it was supposed to go.

In recent years, I’ve watched my mom and my mother in law suffer from the effects of cancer. Once again a disappointment. Not exactly the way I had planned it would be.

In fact my mom has suffered for 19 years with the effects of cancer having survived breast cancer, but left with tremendous pain and now suffering with late stage ovarian cancer. It’s not the way it should have been, a disappointment. It’s a “miscarriage of a design or plan” what should have been.

The focus on these disappointments can paralyze you if you let it. It will hold you down with fears of moving, living, carrying on… Because the question comes, when will the next big hammer fall?

BUT… we have this hope. It’s a hope that does not disappoint. It doesn’t miscarry it’s designed purpose. It doesn’t bring you so far and drop you like a hot rock. It’s the one sure thing we can bank on no matter what twist or turn we face on planet earth. It’s the sureness of God’s great love and His promise that He will never leave us no matter what we walk through. It’s the confidence that although we live in a fallen world marred with disappointment and pain, we have a better place, which is really our home, waiting for us in Heaven. The things that were miscarried, cut short, flawed, and a disappointment, are only a small period of time in the light of eternity in a land where there is no suffering and no more pain.

Eight years ago when we went through such great loss, one of my children asked me why we had to lose my nephew and my father in love. It’s hard to explain that to an adult, but a kid makes it all the worse. I told them “I don’t understand why these awful things happen, that’s what makes heaven, heaven and where we live earth, earth. I can’t understand why we have to hurt sometimes and why bad thing happen. But I know God is good, and I have to trust that someday it will all make sense.”

God is good. His hope does not disappoint. It will accomplish exactly what it was conceived to do. His hope will lead me on in His love knowing that when all this is done, it will all be made right. No more suffering, whether it be physically or mentally, No more pain. Only joy and peace and perfect love when we stand face to face with Jesus in eternity’s hall.

“Hope doesn’t disappoint.” Sink your teeth into that one. Grab ahold and don’t let go. It’s a precious promise that brings peace when things here on earth are far from what you dreamed they would have been.