Memorial Day- Forever Changed in My Life

Posted on May 23, 2020 by Janet

In honor or Matthew James Bergman 4/1/1990- 6/26/2011 “Lost at Sea with the Lord”

Originally written 5/23/2014. Matt is Never Forgotten

When I was a kid, I was a “June Bug” in the Girl Scouts. I remember on a Memorial Day we put flags on the grave stones of the veterans. I had no idea what the fuss was all about, all the flags everywhere, and a day off that, for me, marked the beginning of summer. Really the holiday, throughout the years, sadly, hasn’t meant that much to me. Not until almost 3 years ago when I got the call that my nephew Matt, who was serving in the Navy as a linguistic interpreter, had been lost at sea. There was a search for him for a few days and then all hope for his return to us was lost and we were left with just our memories of a boy who turned into a man and followed hard his passion to serve our country.

*Miss you Matt. You’ll always have a special place in my heart*.

I didn’t get to see Matt a whole lot throughout the years. He lived in another state. On an average, I saw him once or twice a year, but that kid was always the sweetest to me. He always greeted me with a hug and excitement to see me, and when our time together passed, he would always give me a warm hug and say, “I love you, Aunt Janet.”

I have many fond memories of him. He was the cutest ring bearer in our wedding. One time during a winter storm, my brother brought him and his sister to our duplex and sledded in front of my house, just because in the the south, where he lived, there wasn’t enough snow to sled like we always got to do as kids. We went camping together in family camp outs, and there was Christmas time eating goodies and playing games with Great Grandpa.

*Matt, ring beater at my wedding. Such a cutie.*

The last time I saw Matt was at the celebration of my parents 50th anniversary. He was excited about his first time out to sea, in the Navy. When we had to leave to go home, he made a point to get to me and give me a big hug, and as always he said, ” I love you , Aunt Janet.”

It was surreal going to his military funeral. It was the first military funeral I had ever attended. We arrived and the Freedom Riders were there, because of a threat of the possibility of Westboro Baptist showing up. When the family walked in they representatives of the Navy saluted us, and then the 21 gun salute and the sounding of taps all that in the memory of a someone I think the most of as a kid with a big smile, blue eyes, and a warm hug.

This will mark the second Memorial Day since we have lost Matt. The meaning of the day has changed a lot for me. Now one of the white memorial stones represents someone I love, and the day of remembering has went from an excuse to barbeque to another day, like his birthday and the day he died, that sticks out as a reminder that he is gone. Now the statement, “Freedom is not Free” means a lot to me, and when I see a young man or woman in their uniform I appreciate the sacrifice they are making in putting their life on the line for my freedom.

“Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” was the verse that was emphasized at his funeral. It is so true. Matt loved his family. He loved his friends. He loved his country, and most important, he loved his God. Knowing this gives me hope that He is waiting for me to finish my race here on earth, and when I finally make it home to heaven, he will be waiting there with that same big hug and greeting, and once again I will hear him say, “I love you , Aunt Janet.” In the meantime, know I will never forget you Matt. You are in my heart forever, and I love you too.

Manasseh and Ephriam- The Goodness of God

Posted on May 21, 2020 by Janet

My husband and I have taken up a new reading plan on the Bible App as of late called “Reading the Bible in Historical Sequence Part 1”. It’s one of those read the Bible in a year deals, but this time it’s arranged everything according to the Chronological order of events. We’ve hit the story of Joseph. One of my favorite characters in the Bible. He’s one of those people that I can look at and say “Look at all he went through. He had it a lot worse than I ever have and yet he remained true to God.” His story of abuse, false accusations against him, unjust judgements and unwarranted punishments, yet God’s continued favor towards him in the midst of his suffering speaks volumes to anyone, which I would imagine it would be everyone, who has ever walked through some hardships.

As I was reading this morning these verses jumped off the page/screen at me. I’m sure I’ve breezed by them time after time when I’ve read this story, but today it struck home.

https://www.bible.com/app

(Check it out! It’s a life changer!!)

“Joseph had two sons born to him before the years of famine came. Asenath, daughter of Potiphera the priest of On, was their mother. Joseph named the firstborn Manasseh (Forget), saying, “God made me forget all my hardships and my parental home.” He named his second son Ephraim (Double Prosperity), saying, “God has prospered me in the land of my sorrow.”” Genesis 41:50-52 The Message

Joseph had endured all the things I listed above, but when God had finally brought him to the place that unbeknownst to him, would be his defining moment as a hero of Bible history- the man second in command to Pharaoh and the rescuer of God’s people (his family) from a famine, he was blessed with a couple of sons. Joseph named his sons “Forget” and “Double Prosperity”. Kind of odd names if you think about it, but names that made a statement. “God has made me forget all my hardships and my parental home.” and “God has prospered me in the land of my sorrow.” Joseph looked at his newborn baby sons with the awe and love that any new father would have and reflected on where he had been and where he was now.

I wonder how often Joseph thought of how unfair his situations were and how much had been taken from him as he worked as a slave in Potipher’s house. I wonder how many restless nights he may have spent remembering being thrown into a pit, sold to strangers, accused by his master’s wife, thrown into prison, on and on. Could he have had moments waking from nightmares of the ordeal he suffered? Or flashbacks of the horror? Yet in all that God had brought him out into a place of great blessing. He could “forget”/ leave behind the hurt and enjoy the “double prosperity” of his new life.

High school years were not among my favorite. I can remember a night that I broke down into tears over a broken car horn on my car. I told my dad how much I hated school, honors society tree planting (another story), etc. He told me, “I hated my teen years too, I don’t know why people always say these are the best years of your life. Mine have been since I married your mother and had you kids.” That stuck with me. I’ve even quoted that to my own kids as they have walked through that awkward time. There are some time periods of life that are just hard, maybe even traumatic, but I’ve found as Joseph and my dad did that better days truly were ahead.

Last night my son, his wife, and our grandbaby came over for dinner. We have 22 acres for roaming on, so my daughter in love asked if I would mind watching my grandson for a little while as she and my son went out to explore it. “Are you kidding? I’d love too!! When are you all heading out?” I sat in my rocker/recliner holding the sleepy 3 month old as he squeezed my finger, staring in his face. Then it occurred to me once again, just like Joseph did looking at his sons, “I have been blessed far beyond anything I could have imagined. Here I sit holding my son’s son. He’s beautiful. I can forget the long struggle it took to get here, because I am blessed with double prosperity where I am.”

Every once in awhile I feel like I almost need to pinch myself. I have a nice home, nice car, my needs met, sweet kids, a beautiful grandbaby, and a smoking hot husband (no exaggeration there). It’s not exactly where I’ve pictured myself being when I walked through the hard times of life and lived in the struggle. But I have been blessed. God has been good to me.

Understanding this and remembering it when the winds of adversity blow is a key to remaining in joy. I guess that’s why remembering the good and being thankful is so important. A practice that I would do good to diligently attend to.

Pain into Pulpit

Posted on May 14, 2020 by Janet

Four years ago my Mother in Love became sick. We discovered after a hospital stay with complete renal failure that she had Multiple Cell Myeloma. Months later she went to the city to have a stem cell transplant at one of the nation’s leading hospitals. Her time there was as she has described it her time of “being the closest I’ve ever been to death.” In the four years since it’s not been an easy road for her. Monthly and sometimes weekly or more appointments at the Cancer Center, changes in treatments, side effects in medicine, sleepless nights, and sometimes just feeling plain old crappy.

Yesterday, she calls me after returning home from another appointment with some good blood report readings and some not so good. She relays all that, but then begins to share about a woman that sat by her in the waiting room, probably in her 30’s, recently diagnosed, and scared. You’d have to know my Mother in Love. She’s never ever really met a stranger. So she strikes up a conversation with the girl, and then begins to take the pain that she has walked in for these past four years and turns it into a pulpit. She shared about how God saw her through treatments, transplants, radiation, sickness, it all. She talks about how faithful and close He is, how much He loves, and how much He loves that girl and that she doesn’t have to be afraid. Then my spunky 73 year old Mother in Love goes through the rest of her appointment and drives home, a challenge for her but as I tell her jokingly, frequently, “She’s a tough old bird.”

I was out running errands for her today, and thinking about all this and some of the personal challenges I have faced and am currently facing in my life. Then this verse from Philippians 1 crossed my mind. “…Everything happening to me in this jail only serves to make Christ more accurately known, regardless of whether I live or die. They didn’t shut me up; they gave me a pulpit!” Philippians 1:20 The Message. It occurred to me that a stranger sitting next to my Mother in Love in a Cancer Center is probably feeling things pretty close to what a Centurion Soldier in Paul’s time must have felt chained up next to Paul. You either love it or hate it, but you for sure are going to hear about Jesus and everything He’s done. Paul reports to the Philippians that during his time in prison he has told everyone around him that he could about Jesus. Many in his captive audience wanted to know more about this Jesus that turned Paul’s life upside down and changed a persecutor of Christians to a preacher of Christ. Although beatings, chains, dirty prisons, poor food, and fellowship with rough cut prison guards were Paul’s daily life, he had taken all this and turned his pain into a pulpit at which he proclaimed the Goodness and the Love of God.

For four years my husband and I had been involved in a ministry called Encounter Ministry. Every month they have had a weekend get away at a small rural church campground. People from many different denominations of the Church come. There are several sessions about different topics that typically start with a testimony of what God has done in the life of someone who has struggled. I’ve heard women at the Ashes to Beauty Encounters speak about losing husbands, children, drug addiction, porn addiction within their home, marital unfaithfulness, PTSD, suicidal intentions, abortions,depression, anxiety, abuse- verbal, physical, mental, and sexual, etc. They talk about how they had suffered such great loss and pain yet they have found peace, joy, love, forgiveness, etc. in Jesus and how much He has changed their lives. Once again they have taken their pain and turned it into a pulpit to declare a God who understands our weaknesses and wants to reach in and raise us above them.

I’m certain that life in Jesus is a series of victories over struggles. I know I won’t totally arrive until I arrive i.e. see Jesus face to face. I have been very aware, as of late, of some of the hard things I have had to walk through in my life. I know several people who become aware of that and then freeze only to be stuck in the Pain. I was praying about this as I drove from point A to point B on my outing today. Suddenly it occurred to me, “What if the hell we experience here on earth, the teeth gritting hard stuff, are the very things that enable us to help some one experience the eternity of heaven?” My mother in love has not enjoyed the pain of sickness, but what if all that was to reach that young woman at the cancer center with heaven’s hope in eternity for her? Paul didn’t enjoy the things he suffered, but what if the hellish torment he endured was the very thing that spread the gospel to a descendent of the Europeans that went down the line to finally give hope to a small town American girl, me, in the 80’s? There are countless accounts of martyrs, missionaries, and ministers that have endured much to be able to proclaim loudly from the pulpit built upon their pain. My resolve must be that “what the enemy meant for evil, God will turn for Good.” Hoist myself on top of it and proclaim from the very tip of the pain the God who Heals.

I’ve been kind of stuck on a song by Elevation Worship as of late. It’s called “Graves Into Gardens”. The chorus says, “You turn graves into gardens. You turn bones into armies. You turn seas into highways. You’re the only one who can… You turn mourning to dancing. You give beauty for ashes. You turn shame into glory. You’re the only one who can.” This same God who does all these things as we let Him into our lives, is the same God who turns the pain we have walked through into a pulpit. That we can proclaim all that Jesus has done for us. He’s the only one who can!

Take Your Hands Off the Wheel

Posted on May 11, 2020 by Janet

A few years ago my husband came to a realization that it was time for a change. Three of our four kids had graduated high school and it was no longer necessary for me to drive a mini van. It was time for us to get something a little more “sporty”. After test driving a Dodge Challenger with a Hemi (probably not a good idea for my lead foot), we settled on a more conventional Dodge Charger with four doors and a V6. Fun to drive, but not overly tempting for my race car driving dreams.

We took our little beauty home and quickly realized that a couple of miles on gravel to get to our house would not leave it beautiful for long. That’s when I broke down and signed up for the local car wash club. $25 for unlimited car washes in a month sounded like a no brainer. Once again my car would sparkle.

Admittedly my first trip to the car wash was a learning experience. It’s one of these automatic deals. Pull the car up on the Wheel tracks, put it in neutral, foot off brake, take your hands off the steering wheel. The machine does the rest. My mistake… not following three of the four instructions. This resulted in frantic waving of hands and pointing to the flashing sign by the employees. I quickly fixed my mistake, and emerged with a shiny car. Win Win…

Today was a day for clearing my mind with a little garden therapy. Pulling weeds, thinking about life, and praying. The scenario of my first trip to the Automatic Car Wash came to my mind and the phrase, “Take your hands off the wheel” kept echoing in my thoughts. It occurred to me, “There are somethings in life I need to just take my hands off of, relax, and let God work it out.” The more I try to hold onto the steering wheel and control them, the more harm it does. In the few seconds I was figuring out my error at the car wash that fateful day, the rollers that typically push a car through were pushing against my wheels with the engine in gear. It was not in neutral. It shook the whole car and made a really bad noise. My holding on to control of certain situations can produce the same effect mentally and spiritually. Best advice for now… “Take your hands off the wheel!!” My trying to analyze, fix, and control will only make matters worse. There are some things that will just have to play out, and I will just have to watch the outcome. Anticipating that on the grand scale of things that outcome will be ok eventually, no matter how bad it appears to be becoming right now. Ultimately God will get me through to the other side, and I will come out shining in the end.

After a couple of years of membership at the car wash, I don’t have the issue I had the very first time I went. When I approach, I keep in mind what I need to do. Nothing gets shook up, no shouting directions at me is needed.

I am hopeful that after 49 years I will finally get the lesson of trusting God with my life down to a fine art. When I approach a difficult situation or circumstance, I will keep in mind what I need to do. “Take my hands off the wheel.” and let Him be God. No shouting or waving arms at me necessary to get me to do what I need to do.

God’s Promise for Moms- Philippians 1:6

Posted on May 7, 2020 by Janet

This Mother’s Day will be my 25th as an official Mother. It’s kind of hard to believe for me. Being a Mom was something I always wanted to be, but it was also the scariest of propositions for me. From the day I found out I was pregnant with my first to today I’ve always had this awareness of what I lacked for being the Mom I should be. I’m sure if I was able to take a poll of all the moms out there that is what they would tell you too. It kind of comes with the territory. There’s always someone more creative, with a cleaner house, more respectful kids, healthier meals, happier husband, taking all the “me time” they need, and so on- kind of mom. For some reason “comparison” is the favorite game of moms all around. At least it was my game of choice for most of my childrearing years, and on occasion still is…

There’s nothing like having a little life to shape and mold as your primary responsibility, or maybe 2 lives, 3 lives, or in my case 4. Needless to say I’ve spent a lot of time praying and telling God “I have no idea what to do with … (fill in the blank with a name).” In fact, that’s a prayer I still use frequently and three of my four are adults now. I guess that may never stop.

Recently, I’ve been spending time in the book of Philippians in the Bible. The first chapter has a verse that I’ve thought of often in my journey of motherhood. Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” It’s a verse that I’ve often heard as an encouragement to an individual. The ol “don’t get discouraged, God isn’t finished with me yet.” kind of verse. But Paul was writing this to a group of friends, brothers/ sisters in Jesus, who he described as having them in his heart (Philippians 1:7) the ones he said he prayed for. Some of the same things I as a mother of grown kids can relate to. My adult children and my teen are in my heart. They have been in my heart since I heard the first heart beat in the ob/gyn office, and I pray for them, on the regular. I know that life, although full of joys and excitement, is very hard. The struggles they had while under my roof may have changed, but I know they are there. I was 20 something once and I struggled too. But I can say as Paul said about his spiritual family in Philippi, about my family, “God began a good work in them and He will finish it.” I’ve told young mothers who’ve worried about how to deal with the various challenges of infancy and toddlerhood, “Remember as much as you love that little angel, God loves them the same and then some.” Same applies at any age. God loves them the same as I do and then some. He doesn’t start a project to abandon it. He simply is not finished yet.

It’s hard to let God have our kids at any age. The reality of this hit me shortly after I brought my firstborn home from the hospital. I was a fear filled mother and SIDS was on the forefront of my mind. I would sit on the edge of my bed with a flashlight watching my son breathe in his bassinet. I remember praying, “God, I can’t stay awake 24/7. Sooner or later I will have to go to bed and trust Him to You for a few hours.” Not really understanding the reality that God not only had him when I slept, He had him when I was awake too. It really wasn’t all on me to keep him alive, but it was on God. Then the same kid turned 16, got a little blueish truck and hopped in it to drive to town. Once again I found myself scared of what could happen to a teenage male driver who believed he was invincible. I spent some time laying face first in my carpet asking God to bring him home safe, realizing it wasn’t about me at all, but totally about God. The for instances in this paragraph could go on and on, especially since I have four kids that I have prayed for, cried over, and felt so helpless at times to help. But thankfully by kid number four It’s getting a little easier to see just how much God has all these things even when I do not. (cheers instead of tears when he drove away newly licensed a few months ago.)

I’ve not reached Jedi master in this whole, faith filled mom who never worries about her kids’ next step and direction thing, but I do intend on holding fast to those words Paul penned so many centuries ago. Even though I am no longer able to call the shots, give the orders, put them in time out, or send them to bed. (Nor would I want to. I’m kind of enjoying the freedom. 🙂 ) I am able to bring them before God on the regular and I must trust that God will “carry on” His good work in them. I had to trust them with God while I slept as they were infants, and I must trust them with God as they take their wings and fly away.

His Choice, His Desire, His Love

Posted on April 24, 2020 by Janet

Right off the bat I want to put a personal plug in for “The Bible App” or “YouVersion” It’s a game changer if your looking for a way to get into the Bible more and understand it better. There are all kinds of nifty little details that it covers: making pictures with Bible verses on them, open your app daily for the daily verse streaks, devotions, and reading plans to mention a few. My husband and I picked “The Bible Project: New Testament in One year” almost a year ago to do together. We don’t really have a time we actually sit down and read the Bible together, but we are reading the same passage and on occasion we have struck up conversations on it. It’s good to grow Spiritually together. It’s been a joy.

As I mentioned, we’ve been at this for almost a year. Which puts us in the book of Revelations. Not really my favorite book of the Bible. It has good stuff in it. They all do, but if there is one thing I’m not, an end times scholar is one of them. So far we’ve made it to chapter 4 and so far so good. In fact, what I read today is what’s been rolling around inside of me today. Probably because I need it. I would venture to say most people do.

Revelations 4:11 “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.” NIV

My first read of this verse it kind of stuck out to me. I thought, “Oh yeah I think some worship song in the 80’s quoted that verse or something.” But it kept sticking out to me. So to satisfy my curiosity, I figured I’d check it out in some other versions. I’ve got my go to list of versions I like to compare verses to. One of them is “The Message”. Sometimes I read it and think, “That couldn’t possibly be what the Bible was trying to say.” But most of the time I come away looking at things a little different. This is one of those times.

Revelations 4:11 “Worthy, O Master! Yes, our God! Take the glory! the honor! the power! You created it all; It was created because you wanted it.”

Shazaam! That last little bit struck me. God didn’t just willy nilly wake up one day and decide that just for funzies He was going to create everything. No, He created everything “Because HE wanted it.”

It’s turkey season in our neck of the woods. My husband and son have been hunting most mornings this week. They get up, excited at 5 am, and go sit out in the woods/ field near our home for hours on end. So far after 5 days of trying, no Turkey. My husband put a selfie of himself and my son from the first morning, with the quote “Gotta love the outdoors” on Facebook. He has told me more than once how much he loves just going out and sitting in the outdoors and enjoying creation. I get it. I’m fond of an occasional nature hike, trout fishing, and camping. I love the peace I feel when I look up at the sky at night and see the stars quietly shining in the sky and hear the frogs and crickets singing in the background. It’s beautiful. So in reading that verse, I told God, “I get it. You wanted all that so you made it. That’s really cool.” But then it hit me… He made me. He wanted me.”

When my kids we little and I held them on my lap, I wanted to convey to them how much they were worth to me and to God. I would say, “Do you know who loves you?”

“Yeah Momma, you do.”

“That’s right who else?” “Daddy”

“Yep, who else?” (The list could go on for awhile with Grandparents, cousins, friends.) But I always ended it with this statement. “That’s true, but Jesus loves you the most. More than any of us can or could.” This usually wrapped around to the final statement I would say, “You know, God wanted a sun. So He made one. God wanted our dog Jack so He made him. But more than anything, He wanted you, an Andy, so He made an Andy.”

That is all fine and good when you’re talking to your precious child, but it’s hard to apply when you turn the table and apply it to you. Especially if you struggle with self esteem/ self worth issues. If God made me, and I am certain He did, that means He wanted me…

If God made you, and I am certain He did, that means He wanted you… Let that sink in. All the things that are right, all the things that are wrong. He looks right at us and “wants us.” Things I want I don’t throw away. Things I want I take care of. Things I want I look at with affection. Things I want I would fight for. Things I want I would pay the price to Get. Hmmm… The picture comes in clearer and clearer. I’m not a thing, but I am His creation, and everything He has made was made by His choice, His desire, and His love.

Maybe, like me, that makes your mind go “tilt” like an old pinball game. But I’m sure if that truth is applied to my heart and mind enough, the crooked will be made straight, and my value will become clearer and clearer. The same for you.

It’s probably time to break out the old conversation I used to have with my kids and just fill in the blanks. “Who loves you? Yeah yeah, but Who Really Loves YOU? Yes, Jesus. He wanted a (your name goes here) so HE made one. That is why you are here.”

https://www.youversion.com/the-bible-app/

Lydia, Paula Dean, and Covid 19

Posted on April 23, 2020 by Janet

Covid 19 has put a major damper on my expressions of hospitality. It’s a bummer. Usually this time of year marks the beginning of bar b ques, friends hanging out, fires in our fire pit, music on the patio or front deck. I think that last year around this time we had a huge fish fry. Not so much this year, with the gatherings of 10 or less order. It’s a weird switch. I’ll be the first to admit that the one with the greatest gift of hospitality between my husband and me would be him. He’s a party all the time kind of guy. Before quarantine hit, and some other life changes that we went through last year (God moving us to a different church, and us stepping down from leading a Bible Study/ accountability group we had been doing weekly for 4 years), our weeks were spent trying to figure out what would be the menu for the next cook out and how many people can we invite. If I would put the brakes on, for any particular reason, he would want to know what was wrong with me. The weekends were meant for family and friends. Anything less was inconceivable in his mind.

The change of pace has been pretty nice for me, if I’m completely honest. I’ve enjoyed the focus on my kids, my husband, and my new grandson. But every now and then I miss my friends. I miss seeing them, sitting around, and shooting the breeze. I miss the long conversations after church while everyone waited for someone to tell them where we were going to eat. (Usually Mexican/ usually decided by my husband, Not sure why. lol) The joke with our kids had always been, “mom and dad are always the last ones out of the church. They shut the place down.” Then staying at the restaurant until 3 or 4 talking, laughing, and sharing our lives. The waiters at the restaurant knew us by name and called us “Los Hermanos de la Iglesia” (the brothers from the church) when they would seat us. Alejandro always served us, we called him “Alex” because the gringos amongst us couldn’t swing the pronunciation. I really miss those days. Come to think of it, Monday didn’t feel so bad when we started the week because we knew Friday through Sunday would make up for it. So social isolating has been hard, but probably harder than that was the changes we went through from July til present when our solid group of friends went through a major shake up, we went to different churches, and we just don’t see each other like we used to.

It’s funny what got me thinking about all this, Acts 16 and the account of the salvation of Lydia. Lydia was a dealer of fine linens, purple, to be exact. She went outside of the city gates to a place near a river to join in with a group of women to worship the one true God. She was European, not Jewish, but she was hungry for God and being with people who sought Him. When Paul and Silas arrived, they struck up conversation with the women there. Lydia listened and God opened her heart to Paul’s message and she was saved and baptized. Then she did something that I understand, because it is pretty common in southern hospitality, she persuaded Paul and his travel companions to come to her home. Probably touting the food she would fix, the comfortable beds they could rest on, and all the proper enticements a proper hostess can throw out to attract a guest- cookies, pie, ice cream, etc. Later after a series of events, Paul and Silas are noted as returning there “where they met with the brothers and sisters and encouraged them.” So apparently Lydia had a little of the “Paula Dean” touch. She knew how to make them feel comfortable and how to enjoy their company using her home as a tool of her ministry. Lydia’s house had become “the hub” for “Los Hermanos de la Iglesia”. A pretty cool deal. It made it to the Bible. 🙂 Paul then encouraged them, and then after what I’m sure resembled our 3 hour long southern good byes, Paul and his companions left. Complete with someone hollering out the window, “Watch for deer!”

There’s something about a good conversation and a cup of coffee. Topped off with prayer and encouragement. Sprinkle some laughter and smiles. Just what the doctor ordered. Maybe our Covid 19 time out is just what we need to see the value in that once more. We’ve been content to check off the boxes: work, kids stuff, church services, grocery run, etc. And somewhere along the line we lost the Andy Griffith world we used to have of long summer evenings, singing on the front porch with friends, playing some cards, and sharing some time and our lives. It could be that getting back to that is one of the things God is wanting to get us all about, or at least me.

In the mean time, I’m going to brush up on my dessert making skills, work on making my house more guest worthy, and try to make the best of our new “Jetson’s” type socialization – Screen meetings on Zoom. I will pray for a time once again where the “hugger” inside of me can greet my friends with a hug and a smile as we sit down to talk about life and testify of God’s goodness to us each and every one.

May it come quickly!

Midnight Revival

Posted on April 21, 2020 by Janet

There’s been a few times in my life I’ve been able to get a little taste of what heaven is probably like. When I was in 9th grade my best friend and I spent a night talking about God and praying. It probably wasn’t typical behavior for a couple of High School Freshman girls, but we were hungry to know God more and He was very willing to fill us. We stayed up most of the night laughing and then crying and talking about how cool God was and how much we wanted to know Him.

My second year of college a couple of friends and I ended up talking about God. Late in the night we started praying for each other and crying. It was just an impromptu prayer meeting in a College campus house that ended up with us “spreading the joy” to others on our floor. We were amazed at how real God was and how close He felt.

Early in our lives as young parents, my husband and I were discussing God and suddenly began to feel His touch. What was a simple car ride from one side of town to the other ended up with the very real presence of God with us. Tears, laughter, and a trip to his brother’s house for a time of prayer there.

I’ve seen it happen more than once. Not necessarily something experienced in a church building with the right people at the right time. Although He’s met me there too . Just someone hungry for more of God experiencing Him in a new way.

Acts 16 shares a story of an experience just like that. What started out as persecution of Paul and Silas for freeing a slave girl from tormenting demons turned into a prayer meeting that started at midnight and went until the sun came up. It started in a jail cell bound in stocks. Songs of worship for a God who has all things in His hands. It went to a jailer frightened by a supernatural earthquake wanting to know the God these men had been singing about. Then on to the jailers house for all night long discussions about God and His word. Baptisms in the middle of the night. A meal prepared and served and joy filling the house. Not an ordinary church service, not a bunch of holy people: prisoners, jailers, a common household, and a couple of men who had an encounter with Jesus- full of the Holy Spirit, and they were ready to share. All before the sunrise on what seemed to the rest of the world to be just another ordinary night.

Me in my middle aged state values my head hitting the pillow before 10pm. An all night prayer meeting seems like it could be a daunting task. Until I remembered, There’s nothing like the times I’ve spent in the past when God for some reason chose to let me experience His presence and reality those years ago.

I think God allows us to experience times like those as anchors. It locks us in securely in just how real He is. Paul experienced the reality of the presence of God in times like that night at the Jail/ Jailers house. The testimony I’m sure sustained him, Silas, the Jailer and his family for the years to come.

The times I’ve seen the hand of God move in my life have done the same. When my focus has been off and I’ve “forgotten” God reminds me of those times.

The times He’s allowed me to feel the reality of His closeness, the power of His presence, and the personal touch of His hand, those are the things that create a hunger for more. May I be willing to be inconvenienced by the place God chooses to show up, the time He appears, and the way He brings it about. God’s ways of showing Himself to us are not always our convenient, preconceived ways. They may involve a midnight revival with some ordinary people that just want to know “what must we do to be saved?” Or “what must I do to know you? Because what little taste I have had of You God is not enough. I want more.”

Bring on the Midnight Revival in my crazy world that makes little sense at times. When You step in, God, a prison becomes a pathway to freedom. Shackles become instruments of worship, and in the darkness and pain of a trial filled night a table for a feast is set before me.

Enough Already…

Posted on April 14, 2020 by Janet

I’m about done with this whole Quarantine deal. We’ve been at it for about 4 weeks I believe and are only about half done. Although I’m not really sure half done is accurate. It may be more…

I’ve been doing all the “right stuff”. Exercising, projects around the house, gardening, going outside, spending time in prayer and meditation. Honestly, the pressure from the changes of my life are starting to get to me. It occurred to me last Saturday after a day of straightening my pantry, cleaning out cabinets, and probably the most shocking thing to me- alphabetizing my spices (Not a natural organizer, never done before). It hit me… “Enough Already”. I’m tired of this change. I’m tired of the nightly news. I’m tired of the conspiracy theories. I’m tired of trying to get up, show up, and continue doing the same thing over and over again like I’m living the movie “Groundhog’s Day”. And honestly, unlike the majority of this world I really don’t even have it that bad. I’ve got room to roam out in my little corner of the world. Death rates are low, and so far the financial impact of this has been minimal to my family, with exception of a bigger grocery bill. So throw a little guilt on top of all the other emotions I’ve been feeling…”Enough Already”.

Usually at this point in my blog entries I make the turn towards the light at the end of the tunnel, or the deep spiritual point I’m trying to convey begins to become more clear. But if I’m honest, I’m not quite sure how to make the turn this time or turn on the light switch that makes the light at the end of the tunnel appear. Right now the light doesn’t seem to be there, and the point seems to be hidden from me. Not exactly the best place to be, or is it?

It’s times like these in my life that I appreciate David’s Psalms he wrote. I can go to the Bible and see that on its pages are feelings similar to mine. Psalm 13:1-5 The Message expresses these sentiments.

“Long enough, GOD — you’ve ignored me long enough. I’ve looked at the back of your head long enough. Long enough I’ve carried this ton of trouble, lived with a stomach full of pain. Long enough my arrogant enemies have looked down their noses at me.Take a good look at me, GOD, my God; I want to look life in the eye, So no enemy can get the best of me or laugh when I fall on my face.”

David is saying the equivalent of “Enough Already”. That gives me hope. David saw situations that surpass my temporary inconveniences that aggravate me. He lived through situations some placed upon him without his ability to control, others from bad choices he made. He found God someone He was able to run to and pour out the feelings of his heart without fear. God loved his honesty calling David “a man after His own heart.”

Honesty, laying it out to God is the best policy. He knows it all anyway because He sees what’s in our hearts. If I am afraid, if I am discouraged, if I am angry, if I am… God knows. I am assured of that. Not only does He know, He listens, and He cares. I can take my “Enough Already” to Him, and soon I will find as David did that God hears and He answers. The last two verses of Psalm 13 MSG declares just that. “I’ve thrown myself headlong into your arms— I’m celebrating your rescue. I’m singing at the top of my lungs, I’m so full of answered prayers.” I can look back on some of the darkest times in my life and see now how God was at work. It may have taken time, but He turned it all around, as God promised in His word: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭NIV‬‬

There I’ve found it again. “The light at the end of the tunnel”, the “deep spiritual point” I can make.

I may currently have the feelings of “Enough Already” rolling around inside of my heart and mind, but God… God is exactly that. He is “Enough Already” for me. He will not leave me here. I may not see the changes that put my world back to where it was before Covid 19. But I will see God’s Goodness in my life as I continue to run with my “Enough Already” to Him.

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Grandpa- 101 Years of Example

Posted on April 7, 2020 by Janet

I have to admit. I have been a little down the past few days. The reality of the change we are up against with regards to the Corona Virus has hit me more than once. I’ve found myself thinking about how easy I’ve had it the past 49 years, and now it seems my world has been grabbed by one end and shaken out like a dusty rug at the entry way of a house. Dust is flying everywhere and I’m not sure when the air will clear enough for me to breathe. I was complaining to God about my feelings the other morning. “My world will never be the same…” Then I was gently reminded, “Is that what you wanted? Did you want your world to never change?” Good point. Maybe my comfort levels, my ease… that would be good to leave them alone. But the very changes I have prayed for in my world, those would be good to adjust.

Here’s the deal… Change is a part of life. You can’t dodge it or escape. It happens and you have to just go through.

My Grandpa was born in 1914. He died a few years ago just a few days shy of his 101st Birthday. When he was 4 years old the world was in the midst of another infamous pandemic, The Spanish Flu. I never heard him talk about it, so he may have been young enough to not remember it much, but I do remember hearing stories about his life during The Great Depression. How as a boy he hunted and fished, not for pleasure, but to help feed his siblings and himself, so much so that he wasn’t much a fan of either when he got older. He just went to the pond and watched us fish. He witnessed World War I and II, the Korean War, and Vietnam War, the war his oldest son fought in and was faced with uncertainty of how that would end up for him, he came home. He had loved ones born and loved ones die, among which were infant grandbabies. He lost a great grandson, my nephew in the Gulf of Aden- lost at sea while serving with the United States Navy. He saw marriages in the family, he saw divorces. He stood at the side of the casket of his only lifelong love of 60 plus years gazing at her and commenting on how young she looked, like the days before they had moved from Kansas decades before. He outlived all his siblings, 7 of them, and most of his friends. In fact towards the end, that fact kind of hit him- “I’m the last one left.”

He saw changes, but I never saw him fearful or complain. In fact, I’ve only mentioned a portion of the challenges he faced in his 101 years on earth, but the memories I have of him are not of a man filled with fear. Instead it was a quiet man, who would always greet me with a hug and ask me, “How’s my girl?” Grandpa just adjusted to it all somehow. He had Faith in Jesus, evidenced to me by his presence in his spot every Sunday and Wednesday at church in the back right hand corner pew all the years of my life until he couldn’t drive to church any more some time in his 90’s. He lived his life, and he went on. He did what he had to do, and he enjoyed what he had, his farm, his business, his family , his God, and his life.

Grandpa never escaped the changes, and neither will I. Some will bring joy, some incredible sadness. I guess what matters most is how I end up going through them. I look at the current situation of my world, and I can’t see a way that any of it is going to get any better any time soon, but I’m certain there were times my Grandpa must have felt the same way. But he made it through with stories to tell of the better times of life. Stories of drag racing Model T’s and boat racing with “The Tub”. In his older years, playing “The Game” and Mowing his lawn gave him great joy. Grandpa rarely talked about the bad, the hard, the sad. He had many stories to tell of other times, which is probably what helped him to live so long.

I’ve often said I wanted to make it to at least 90. I have a lot of living I want to do. It’s easy to forget that in order to make it that long, I’ll have to live through the good times and the bad. But the main thing is to live life with joy. I must experience the life that is before me now, do my best to live my life with my Faith in Jesus as my guide, enjoy the good things along the way and know that even when things are painful, God is there to hold me close as I go through. Ultimately I will make it through the ups and downs of this life and some day live free in heaven. That’s what my day of contemplating Grandpa’s life has taught me. 101 years of his example has spoken a lot more than what his words could have ever said.

Your Love

Reflections on God’s goodness in my daily journey

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