Fifty-four years on planet earth gives you some perspective. I have a lot of different seasons to look back on. Truthfully, I have made some really bone headed decisions during each of those seasons…
Today when I was reading Romans 7 two phrases that Paul wrote stood out: “What a wretched man that I am!” And “ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Verses 24 and 25)
Chapter 7 is a lot of Paul writing about the struggles he had on the inside. he says, “I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself sitting in the same struggle.
BUT JESUS!
Jesus is our deliverer! He is the one who releases us from sin’s grip. He rescues us! When we finally get to the end of ourselves and surrender our lives completely, He keeps us! He holds onto us, he retains us in His possession. He preserves us from falling. He protects us, guards us, and sustains us.
Fifty- four years has taught me something, I cannot make it on my own. I ( on my own) cannot make a better version of me… I need Jesus! And Yes! “Thanks be to God who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
Jesus is waiting for us to turn to Him in each and every situation. He desires for us to recognize that we need help… we need Him! When we finally get to that point, we will see “There Was Jesus.”
Today’s reading is the account of a man possessed by demons, a whole legion of them. No matter what was tried he could not be subdued.
He ran around in a graveyard naked. He beat up anyone who tried to help him. “He was always crying out and cutting himself with stones.” But deep within him, he wanted to be free. “..when he saw Jesus from afar, he ran and fell down before him.”
Jesus did the impossible. He cast the demons out of the man. He set the man free! The people of the nearby city heard of what had happened.
“And they came to Jesus and saw the demon possessed man, the one who had had the legion, sitting there , clothed and in his right mind…” (verse 15)
Our Heavenly Father still sets the captives free and He is able to restore a person to “his right mind…” Depression, anxiety, anger issues, compulsions, addictions,etc. are not too big for Him!
In our society, it is almost taboo to make such a statement. But I can confidently say that I have experienced going from torment of mind to sitting close to Jesus and “in my right mind.” He set me free! He is not a respecter of persons. What He did for the demoniac in the Bible, and for me in a small Missouri town. He will do for you!
Jesus showed us the Father who restores and heals the troubled mind when He stepped out of the boat at Gerasenes.
He is able to show us that same God as we allow Him to step into our lives! The demoniac ran up to Jesus. May we run to Him as well!
Today is Mark 5:21-43 ❤️🙌🔥 for the “Bible Book of the Month Club — The Gospel of Mark”
“She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.” Mark 5:26 NIV
Desperation! A woman who had suffered much from a bleeding issue pressed through a crowd. She had hope that somehow she would come into contact with the Jesus she had heard about. She knew if she could just “touch his clothes” she would be healed.
What impresses me about this account is that she had tried everything to be better and had only grown worse. I can relate to that. One time I tried to calculate the amount of money I spent trying to fix myself and the anxiety that I suffered with: professional counseling, meds, self help books I purchased, subscriptions to Headspace — eastern meditation app, gas to drive to the counseling sessions, over $700 on a workshop that offered a cure (15 years ago I haven’t checked its price now), coloring books to distract me from my anxious thoughts, the list could go on… AND what I was suffering with did not get better. It grew worse.
All I really needed was just reach out to Jesus. He had paid the price for me to be free long ago on the cross. When I finally came to an end of myself and my ways and I came to Him, I was healed.
What is it that needs a miraculous touch in your life? Jesus has power flowing out of Him that can free you from your suffering. Come to Him in faith believing He can!
What is God showing you today in our reading? Share it below 👇 👇👇
“Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.” Isaiah 59:1-2 NIV
Sin is an uncomfortable topic in our modern world. Many have come to believe that we are beyond that concept. Our thoughts, feelings, and actions cannot be the problem. The problem is the environment we have lived, the people we have interacted with and the situations that have made us. Victims… we are just victims floating aimlessly in a torrent of occurrences that have shaped who we have become. In order to experience differently we must make ourselves what we want to be, chasing what we want, when and how we want it. However, this way of thinking only digs a deeper and deeper hole for the individual who embraces them. Why? It is a complete denial of the truth written in God’s word. It is pursuit of a way outside of relationship with the only one who holds the cure for the death, darkness, and destruction in our lives…Jesus.
We are not self made, and the solution for all the “negative emotions” we feel within ourselves is not found within ourselves. We have a Creator. This Creator designed us for connection to Him in a deep and intimate relationship. When we live our lives separated from this design, we experience lives far from what He created us for. Our Creator is good, loving, kind, peaceful, true, just, etc. He is the only source of these characteristics. So our disconnection from Him means that we live disconnected from all that He is. Apart from God there is no good thing. (Psalm 16:2)
The question then becomes, if separation from my Creator is what is bringing all the anger, anxiety, hatred, bitterness, fear, control issues, etc., WHY am I separated from Him? Who separated me from the source of life I desperately need? The answer is you and I. Our deliberate choice to sin has separated us. We are sinners.
The good news is as we come to terms with what we are is there is a solution for what separates us from the peace, joy, love, faithfulness, self- control, etc. that we all need. It is a solution that is far more simple than our repeated attempts of “self- help” techniques. Because quite truthfully, we cannot help ourselves. We cannot fix what is wrong inside of us. This is only fixed by the one who created us, God.
God has provided the solution to the sin that destroys us, Jesus. Jesus and His death, burial, and resurrection provided the way. As we come to Him in repentance, asking Him to cleanse us from the sin we have in our heart. He begins a good work within us. He gives us a new heart that is inclined to live in a relationship pursing Him. As we see it is our choice to sin and to pursue ourselves over God that is separating us from living a life of abundance, we have come to a place we can accept the Good News!
The problem — our iniquity and sin. The solution — repentance and surrender to Jesus!
“I am using an example from everyday life because of your human limitations. Just as you used to offer yourselves as slaves to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer yourselves as slaves to righteousness leading to holiness. When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.” Romans 6:19-22 NIV
For several years, I lived my life subjected to the cruel taskmaster of anxiety. It ruled over my life. Anxiety dictated my daily routine: Get out of bed. Take your first anxiety pill of the day: Do your daily exercise of Eastern Meditation on Headspace. Now start your day. Throughout the day anxiety would exercise its control over my feelings and emotions. Time to do breathing techniques, practice mindfulness, engage in the 5,4,3,2,1 method, then repeat. Often, I could not shake the feelings of a tight throat and a tight chest. Then it was time for my evening anxiety pill. I crawled into bed. I hoped for a night free of an anxious awakening at 2 am, lying awake for hours, and experiencing what I did in the day. This scenario was repeated day after day, night after night. I was a slave to my sin of anxiety. I was subject to its control, and it was producing death, darkness, and destruction inside of me.
Our verses this week are once again about holiness. This holiness is a benefit as we live our lives as “slaves to righteousness.” It is a life of freedom from sin as we live our lives set apart for His sacred use – a life of love, faith, holiness, and prayer. In this life, we are “slaves to God,” under His control and His rule. This submission to Him is always for our benefit, because He is a good Lord and Master. Being His slave results in more than holiness. Through it we experience “eternal life.”
Three years ago, I learned that we were created to serve someone. The words of this verse were proved true in my life. I came to understand that I had a choice. I could continue to “offer the parts of my body in slavery to impurity and ever-increasing wickedness” that the sin of anxiety was producing, or I could become a “slave to God.” I would either serve an evil master of sin or our loving and Holy God. I could not serve them both. I had to choose. This is the truth for each and every one of us. To not choose God is to choose the enemy.
God is holy. He is perfectly and impeccably pure, completely immaculate, and uncompromisingly righteous and just. He desires for us to be in relationship with Him, but in order for us to be close to Him, we must be holy as He is holy. To do so, we must “offer ourselves as slaves to righteousness.” The benefit we receive is a pure heart and freedom from sin and sinful affections, conformed to the image of God. We will be holy and the “result will be eternal life” with Him.
As you have read the words above, have you become aware that you are a “slave to impurity?” Is there an addiction or a sin that keeps you from experiencing a close relationship with God and the freedom from sin that He alone gives? God desires for us to live our lives surrendered to Him as a “slave to righteousness” that will lead to holiness. He desires us to be close to Him in a relationship of intimacy filled with His goodness, joy, peace, and love. We can only experience this when we live our lives fully surrendered to Him!
Our song this week is once again by Charity Gayle, “Because of Jesus.” Because of what Jesus has done, we can know that we are finally free of the sin that destroys! He has redeemed us and made us holy as He is holy. May our hearts desire to serve Him in complete obedience to His Word. May we live as His “slaves to righteousness” which leads to holiness – holiness in heart and in everything we do!
A few months ago, I was praying. I heard the Holy Spirit tell me, “Janet, do you know that Satan uses noise warfare?” Since the term “noise warfare” was not exactly on my mind, I decided to do a google search. When I did, I found an article about Manuel Noriega. The implications of his story have been eye opening to me as one who has been subject to “noise warfare” for most of my life.
US Soldiers blaring rock and roll music in 1989
On Christmas Day 1989, The United States decided it was time to arrest and bring to justice General Manuel Noriega, the dictator of Panama. Indicted for drug trafficking charges, Mr. Noriega had holed himself up in the embassy of the Vatican in Panama. The US forces did not want to destroy buildings in order to accomplish a surrender of the surrounded General. So, they engaged in “noise warfare”. They surrounded the Embassy and with a flight of Humvees that were mounted with loudspeakers from which they blasted rock in roll music, nonstop for three days. Noriega, who loved classical music surrendered shortly after. As I read the news report of the events surrounding Noriega’s surrender, the truth set in. This is the exact type of spiritual warfare I have been engaged in most of my life.
Make no doubt about it. Our enemy, Satan, is a liar. Not only is he a liar, he takes great pleasure in repeating lies in our ears over and over and over again. His voice does not tire from spewing lies 24/7 that lead us to choose anxiety, anger, depression, hatred, bitterness, envy, selfishness, jealousy, etc. However, we do not have to be subject to the noise warfare going on within our heads.
About three years ago, I contacted my friend from college. In our conversation, I revealed to her that I was suffering from horrible anxiety. She told me something that to this day rings true, “Janet, you have the Holy Spirit living within you. You know His voice. All you have to do is listen.” It occurred to me that moment that I had listened to the lies of the enemy so long that I had forgotten what it was like to listen for the “still small voice” of the Holy Spirit. I had allowed Satan to shout in my ears and I had been internalizing his lies. It was time to draw a line in the sand and FIGHT!
Do you know that God has a victory plan for the “noise warfare” of our enemy? It is the praise of our glorious God! It silences Satan!
“Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory in the heavens. Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. “ Psalm 8:1-2 NIV
We must make a determined effort to use this weapon we have graciously been given. Satan knows this is true. So he once again will shout his lies, “That won’t work! You look like an idiot praising when you are who you are!” May I encourage you, tell him to “shut it!” and then get your praise on!
Even if the praise you struggle to get out starts with a feeble, “I praise you God, because you are good.” Build on those words with more and more praise. He cannot continue to blare his noise when the praises start! The truth of who God is as you praise Him with His Word will prevail! So, praise and then listen. You will hear His voice. It has been gently speaking all along. In Him is the Victory!
I have rediscovered the past few years how beautiful the sound of God’s voice is! I love it! What I did not know as I listened to the noise of the enemy is that God’s voice was speaking the whole time. Praise helped me to turn the channel of what was being broadcasted in my head. God’s voice is loving. His voice is peace. It is gentle, kind, patient, and good. And best of all, it can be heard! In fact, God longs for us to hear it! He wants us to know His voice and follow no other! Because He loves us and wants what is best for us!
We do not have to live under the constant barrage of the enemy’s lies and his “noise warfare”! We must immerse ourselves in the truth- God’s Word, the Bible, and lift up our voices in praise! Our God still breaks the chains of torment off of the minds of His children! Believe it is so!
“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.”Psalms 40:1-3 NIV
I often find myself very aware of my ability to jump into a pit feet first, with no regard for the repercussions. I am keenly aware of all the times I’ve made poor decisions, bad choices, and willingly disregarded the truth of scripture in order to go my own way. The truth be known, I have been really good at ending up in a pit of sin. I have also been the queen of beating myself up for those bad choices for the rest of my life… Regret, guilt, and shame have known me well…
Recently I have been contemplating a series of poor choices I made during my early adult years. Today, I heard the Lord tell me, “Janet, you’re really good at concentrating on your power to get into a pit, and ignoring My power that has pulled you out!” How true that is!
This morning I am sitting on my East facing upper deck awaiting the sunrise. It hit me, I live in more blessings than my young adult mind could have ever conceived. Yes, I have lived many years dwelling in the pit of fear, anxiety, and torment. But today I am free! I don’t have to go back and revisit the pits I’ve willingly jumped into. I don’t need to try to figure out how I fell in, how deep the different pits were, and what all the long standing effects of dwelling there are. I simply need to sing the “new song of praise” He has put in my mouth.
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1 NIV
It is enough to rejoice in the freedom I now live in and leave all the chains behind! I’m free!
At the height of the struggle I had with anxiety, verses 4-5 spoke to me.
“To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.”” John 10:3-5 ESV
Anxiety, among many other voices, cry out for our attention, but Jesus assures us that as His sheep we know HIS voice! If we really stop and listen, we can hear that voice. All the other voices shouting at us for His attention are only thieves and strangers. We as His sheep follow His voice alone.
Do not be distracted by all the shouting of lies in your ears! The truth is, when you are in Jesus, you know His voice. If you listen, you will hear it. Follow that voice! It leads to the one who tenderly cares for all our needs, our Good Shepherd.
I grew up in a small southern Missouri town near Montauk State Park, a state park known for trout fishing. Opening day of Trout Season, March 1st was almost like a holiday in our area. Kids were known to skip school so they could be on the river, pole in hand, listening for the early morning whistle blow that signaled the day of trout fishing had begun. I didn’t go much, but some in my family did. Then I met my husband and we married. He took to the whole trout fishing scene and became pretty proficient in catching his limit of trout, almost every time. That is not easy. I could fish for hours and catch none….. Years went by, camping at another state park for trout fishing became a yearly, if not more occurrence. It was nice. We had a pull behind camper. I would sleep in with the kids, he would go fishing. I would hang out, relax, do some school work with them, since we tended to camp during the school year, perks of Homeschooling… Then the camper was sold, the kids grew up, and my husband needed a fishing buddy. So my love for trout fishing began.
A small hook can do a lot of damage in a trout’s life.
One of the things about catching trout that still stumps me to this day, is they are incredibly smart. They can see the line, if too thick, the hook if too big, and they will NOT bite on it. You use a very light weight line and a very small hook considering the size of fish you will reel in.
This morning the image of a large trout being reeled in on a small hook has been floating around in my mind. I’ve seen it lots of times as I’ve stood with waders on, in the stream. Fish in one hand, my other hand free to remove the tiny hook from its mouth. How I ever got it into my net on such a small device eludes me. It probably amazes the trout as well. One chomp at an alluring fly and it’s a done deal, with the right skills, he becomes mine.
There is a parallel between the trout on a hook and the thought life I have struggled with for years. But finally, something has clicked inside of me that has “unhooked me” in my mind, and all I can do is praise the God who sets me free.
I’m pretty sure any person who struggles with trauma-based anxiety will identify with this pattern in your mind. A thought of an event or situation of the past comes to mind, a trauma. Then the thought, “uh oh… I thought the thought. I remembered the event. I prayed about that memory. I asked God to take it away, but here it is. I must not have experienced the healing God promises. What can I do to set myself free?” So, YOU fight to not think about it anymore: Distract, medicate, meditate, self-help techniques galore, the list goes on… That is the equivalent to a large trout hooked on a tiny hook. That trout will FIGHT to not be reeled in. All the while digging the hook deeper into its lip.
Yesterday, the Bible study group I go to, “Women on Wednesdays” had a workshop on Emotional Woundedness. They invited the Reginal director for Center for Women’s Ministries to lead it. There was something talked about during the workshop that has “unhooked” me, “Holy Forgetfulness”. God must have been trying to get my attention, because not only did it come up during the workshop, the topic was brought up in church on Sunday by a guest speaker for Spring Revival, and it also came up on a teaching I watched online by Robert Morris. In fact, a quote from Robert Morris’ teaching was posted in my Facebook feed. “Holy forgetfulness doesn’t mean we won’t have the memory anymore; it means we won’t have the stress and pain associated with the memory.” I would venture to say God has been trying to get my attention. It hit me… Memories of painful events don’t just vanish. They happened. But fighting the memory by trying to forget will only “set the hook” worse. God has “unhooked” me! Satan wants to drag up the chains, the handcuffs, the prison cell bars, from the recesses of my mind and say, “Yep, they are still there…” But the fact of the matter is NOT that all those things have existed as a part of my story. The FACT is I am not in them anymore! The pain they caused me has been healed. I am free! Jesus, the healer and the source of freedom, has unhooked me! That memory that I have tried so hard to forget needs to only be filed away under the label, “YOU ARE FREE!” and each time it may come up, the label clearly displayed. Because that memory has no hold on me!
“Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say…?” Genesis 3:1 NIV
We all hear “voices”. Before you think I’ve jumped off the deep end, let me clarify that statement. We are surrounded/ bombarded by so many opinions, statements, ideas every day. These are the voices that shout at us from the moment our eyes open until we close them in sleep, and if we are lucky, they don’t come to us at night in our dreams as well… nightmares. These voices are liars. They want to get us off course from the only way to get them to shut up, the Peace found only in Jesus.
Yesterday, I was scrolling through Facebook, something I do way too much of… But I happened upon a post a friend had reposted of someone who is struggling with Anxiety. As I read it, it was like looking of a reflection of something I was a few months ago. Statements like: “I need a break from my mind itself which isn’t possible.” “My mind is traumatized my memory is foggy and absolutely full of triggers” “I am actually just busy trying to hold it together in my safe box.” Stuck out to me. I’ve been blogging for quite a while. This all started because writing has been an outlet for me, a stuffer of emotions… Anxiety has been one of the hot topics for my blog. I have several entries if you go back and look at the history of what I have written. It has been a lifelong struggle, but I would say the most intense battles have been the past 4 years. But God has worked a miracle in my life since around September/ October. It’s one of those kinds of miracles that it sometimes seems like it is too good to be true. You know, “pinch me” so I can make sure this is real kind of deals. With each passing day, I am convinced all the more of how real it is. I am walking free! So when I read the post like I saw yesterday, or I hear of someone who is struggling with anxiety, my heart aches. Because I know just how many voices I listened to and how many lies I believed.
Satan is deliberate in his onslaught of anxiety that he has unleashed in my generation and the generations after me. From the first twinge of it until you find yourself being squeezed to death by it, he has a purpose and a lie that is not new at all that is the root of all anxiety. “Did God really say…?” I believe anxiety is satan’s way of getting us to doubt God, His goodness, His provision, His Love. I would not be surprised if it is the very force driving the “deconstruction of Christian faith” movement we hear about frequently in the news. If anxiety is ruling in your head and your heart, doubts begin.
Deconstruction Christianity is a false religion. You cannot have Jesus and not have the truth of the Bible. There is no me making a “better version of myself”
Then begins all the futile attempts to “fix ourselves”. Believe me, I tried them. Self help books galore, Headspace meditation app- started by a Buddhist monk, trying new hobbies (not a bad thing as long as it isn’t a replacement for crying out to Jesus), numbing it all with medicine, etc. The truth of it all is “I CANNOT FIX MYSELF!!!” All my attempts to fix my anxiety, outside of getting my eyes off of me and onto Jesus, only served to dig me deeper into a pit, a very ugly pit… The truth in the lyrics of the Switchfoot song “Mess of Me” rings truer to me every day.
“I am my own affliction I am my own disease There ain’t no drug that they could sell Ah there ain’t no drugs to make me well There ain’t no drug It’s not enough There ain’t no drug The sickness is myself I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me I’ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive”
About a year ago, I made contact with an old friend from my college days. We began talking about some mutual experiences of abuse that opened us up to lies. One thing stuck out to me that she said in the beginning of our weekly conversations. “Janet, you have the Holy Spirit within you. You can hear the truth. You know the truth.” She had hit the nail on the head. I have been listening to WAY TOO MANY VOICES! (ME, a seasoned Christian of 39 years…”) Whether it was the lies of “what you have been will never change”, the lies of “You call yourself a Christian, yet you think these horrible things”, “try to find your ZEN”, “make a better version of yourself each day”, “the Bible does not hold the answer to what you are struggling with”, etc. Those voices only lead to one thing “DESTRUCTION”. Let me be so bold as to say that “Deconstruction of faith” is not a brave move. It is an opening to the very “destruction of ourselves”.
Here’s the deal. I cannot say do x,y,and z and you will find yourself free. I’m not 100% sure how I have ended up in this place of peace I am in today. The one thing I did do was I decided my listening to “too many voices” was not working. I needed to listen to ONE voice, JESUS. Tune yourself daily into that voice and refuse to allow even the hint of a whisper of the lying voice of anxiety to enter your ears. Let desperation for freedom cause you to RUN as hard as you can into your Heavenly Father’s arms. It is only there that refuge is found from all the voices that come against you. God is no respecter of persons, granting freedom to one and then not to another. If He has answered the cry for freedom that I uttered, He will answer you! He is just that Good!
The only WAY of Peace, Love and Wholeness- JESUS!!
Your Love 